The big five-oh is as good an excuse as any to start growing old disgracefully.
There is absolutely no difference between turning 20 and turning 50.
You still look forward to things you want to do, and you genuinely – barring a few creaking bits – don’t feel any different. I certainly don’t. But the world does.
You see, the challenge I’ve hit at 50 is one of perception. What if I suddenly decided to quit the wondrous world of freelancing and get a full-time job? Would I be hired?
There’d be a few skeef looks in that job interview, for sure. What about changing careers?
Six years ago, I was confident I could jump ship at any time and try something new.
But the people I work for are younger, and after years of society telling me 50 is “sooooooo old”, now that I’ve hit it, I’m wondering if the work will stop.
“Hmm, she’s a bit old to be freelancing, isn’t she?” This perception makes me feel like I missed some kind of 50 study guide.
I’m about to be a quinquagenarian, and I’m reading articles titled “Why 50 is the best time of your life” and “Why life actually begins at 50”, and wondering what lessons I missed along the way.
Apparently, I’m supposed to care less about what people think, take life less seriously, have wisdom about my future, swear less about my body image, and enjoy telling people that I’m set in my ways.
I’m supposed to know what I want, be Zen, and filled with the energies of 50 rotations around the sun.
I’m none of these. Except cranky. That’s probably because every article and advice guru tells me my life is only just beginning, while every career advice page and media platform is telling me I’m invisible, over the hill and on the road to retirement.
Adverts that include people over 50 aren’t showing us diving into oceans or skateboarding down railings.
We’re too busy swinging our grandchildren, soaking our teeth, and weighing up nappy options.
But as I’ve navigated these articles, conversations, and perceptions I’ve learned some lessons. First, age really is just a number.
You can be an old 50 or a young 50, and both are fine. I am going to keep on figuring myself out, because when you stop learning, you stop growing, and that is when you stop living.
I have no idea about my future, but it is going to involve following my dreams and going on adventures, even if I’m the oldest person there.
I’m not interested in being “set in my ways”, because the very idea fills me with horror. What a terrible way to conclude a life well-lived, by setting yourself in a mould and getting stuck inside it.
Can I freelance at 50? Yes. Can I apply for a job at 50? Yes!
Especially if my boss is younger and my colleagues even younger. Imagine what I could learn from them?
Society’s obsession with youth is nothing more than the endless whining of a world sulking about getting old.
Ageing is inevitable. My goal is to do it as disgracefully as possible, with adventure, stupid mistakes, ridiculous outfits, new ideas, mad schemes, and – I mean, a woman can dream – meeting David Tennant.
Who is, might I add, not just the star of the BBC series, Doctor Who. He’s also my 50-year-old birthday buddy.
All the more reason why he should come along to my birthday shindig, so we can celebrate the joys of growing old together!
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