Why is moving so stressful?

Moving house ranks right up there with losing your job or getting divorced. But is it really that bad, or do you just need to rearrange your thinking?

In 2019, UK estate agents Yopa published a survey that said what most people know already: moving house is stressful.

Some 60% of the survey respondents said they’d been put off moving because of the stress of the change, with many saying it was more stressful than major life events like getting divorced (34%), having a baby (31%), starting a new job (27%) or getting married (25%).

“This is the first piece of in-depth research into the state of homeowner attitudes to moving in more than three years – especially timely, considering current political and financial uncertainties,” said Yopa CEO Ben Poynter. “Our survey proves that moving home can really take it out of you, with more than a third of people left feeling anxious by the whole process.’

Dig into the data, and you quickly find out why. About 46% of respondents said they were worried about having noisy neighbours next to their new home; 41% were concerned about traffic; 38% worry about finding good parking… All good reasons not to buy a specific house, but – let’s be honest here – nothing that would make the experience more life-altering than getting married or divorced, or having a child.

Stress on a scale

The Holmes-Rahe Social Readjustment Rating Scale provides some perspective on this. Developed in the late 1960s by psychiatrists Thomas Holmes and Richard Rahe, the scale weights 43 life events according to their stress levels. Death of a spouse (100 points) ranks at the top, followed by divorce (73), marital separation (65), detention in jail or another institution (63), and then sucker punches like being fired (47), death of a close friend (37) and career change (36).

Here’s the thing, though: moving house doesn’t appear anywhere on the list. Taking on a mortgage/bond sits at position 20 (with 31 points), while major change in living conditions comes in at position 28 (with 25 points). Stressful? Yes. But not even as stressful, according to Holmes-Rahe, as in-law troubles (29 points) or starting or finishing school (26 points)!

Then there’s the line in that Yopa survey where you learn that 62% of respondents said that, you know what? Moving home could actually make them happier than they are right now.

This doesn’t take away from the hassle of securing a bond, dealing with transfer attorneys, packing up your belongings and getting used to the new neighbourhood; but it should provide some perspective, and help change your thinking around why change – particularly, changing homes – can sometimes be a good thing.

The bright side

One of the blessings of moving house is the opportunity it gives you (or forces upon you) to get rid of all the old junk you still haven’t taken out of the boxes after your last move. Go through your stuff, keep the things that bring you joy and clear out (sell or donate) the rest.

As Marie Kondo points out in her bestseller, The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up, “We should be choosing what we want to keep, not what we want to get rid of.” Her formula: “Take each item in one’s hand and ask: ‘Does this spark joy?’ If it does, keep it. If not, dispose of it.’”

At best, this might spark a bigger clean-up in your life. At the least, it might give you less to unpack when you settle into your new home.

Here’s another relocation tip that might have a broader philosophical application: organise your packing boxes in order of necessity. For example, if you know that you’ll need a bottle of wine, a bottle opener and your laptop on your first night in your new home, pack them together in a box and stash it in your car so that you can access them easily and immediately.

It’s all about doing whatever you can to make the move as simple and stress-free as possible. Because the truth is, moving may not be the absolute worst thing that’ll ever happen to you; in fact, it might be just the change you need.