At the height of his first-class cricketing career, Vintcent “Big Vince“ Van der Bijl was one of the most feared and accurate fast-medium bowlers on the field. Then came retirement, a double-bout of illness, and a pervading sense that he was no longer of any value to the world. But that’s all changed for the better now, as he gets set to tackle retirement on his own terms.
I dreaded the thought of
retirement. Yugh! I had limited hobbies except for sport, and staying at home
would drive everyone mad.
My last 10 years in
Cricket South Africa (CSA) and the International Cricket Council (ICC)
encapsulated my passions, hobbies and work. It was the perfect job in my 60s
and I wished it could go on for ages.
I knew deep-down that my identity was wrapped up in my sport and my job. Being a bit obsessive compulsive and ADHD, I dived into my life and projects head on to prove who I was and that I was good enough.
Playing cricket was long-gone, but it was ever-present. My time as a CSA High Performance manager and the ICC Match Officials senior manager, illustrated that.
Bev, my long suffering and amazing wife, said to David Richardson, CEO of ICC, “You know, you don’t really have to pay him. He will do this for nothing.” That was absolutely true!
I woke up excited about what each day had to offer, whatever the crisis was. And there were many.
Retirement hit me like a sledgehammer. No phone calls for updates and advice, no crises, no emails or WhatsApps. Silence and that feeling of being isolated, discarded and of no value. It felt as though my world had vanished. Sport and work had always been my vocation and purpose. It was like a tragic, unwanted divorce.
My family will say, rightly, that I was absent, often away on business. Even at home, I would be lost in thoughts of the work challenges. Sport and reading were my only hobbies. Bev had for years tried to persuade me, without success, to be more balanced.
In 2015, when I retired, something happened which allowed me to face the reality of retirement and separated me from my vocation of working in sport.
No, the gift wasn’t a Hallmark movie of awakening. It was simply that it put a full stop between my working life and my retirement life. And that helped me let go of who I was, as a working person.
Much has been written about cancer survivors having a change of attitude, smelling the roses and often becoming a better version of themselves. Not me. I recovered after my treatments, the same character with the same approach. Obsessive, still trying to prove myself by helping others.
I have been diagnosed as one of those unfortunate (or not) people who go from one impossible job to another. I love real challenges and yes, I am arrogant enough to feel I can make a difference.
I would like to be different one day, appreciating my family more, relaxing more, reading more and travelling around SA, getting away from the daily pressures of life. Oh, to be released – that would be special. Only I, am holding myself back! My choice.
I have always had to work hard, even since school, as I have never been a natural academic. In cricket, too, I had to work hard. I was not a superb athlete like Alan Donald or Brett Lee. That work ethic naturally extended to my work. Heart and soul was the only way I knew.
Now, in retirement, where was that absolute focus going to go?
So, at the age of 67, I looked for something to fill the void, to regain my sense of purpose and identity. I was fortunate to be asked to assist the ICC in an umpire assessment, do a marketing survey for a friend’s company, assist in resuscitating Cricket Zimbabwe’s strategic plan to work within their means and be asked to serve on the MCC World Cricket Committee, by Chairman, Mike Brearley. That helped get my equilibrium back.
Those were fabulous opportunities and I loved the diverse interests and challenges. Inevitably, however, came the question: ‘what next?’
That opportunity arrived
unexpectedly, when I was invited to assist with cricket at Ukhanyo Primary
school in Masiphumelele, a township close to Kommetjie in Cape Town. They had no field, kit, balls or nets, only
one PE and sports coach for 2,000 kids and no real after school sports
programme.
Arriving there, I was
captivated by its potential, and the enthusiasm and zest of the youth at
Ukhanyo. I fell in love again with the possibilities of developing a
transformation process through sport. I now lead the MCC Masi sports project.
It is all-consuming and I am no longer retired – even though I do not get paid!
My purpose is back. Should I change the way I run at life – absolutely. Can I? That is the challenge.
I am working to ensure I can become a less detail-orientated leader and be a mentor. I want to hand over the running of the project to those working and living in Masi. I would love that, and to be able to connect with other NGOs and organisations for a collective transformation programme across SA.
That would allow me to maintain a purpose, spend real time with Bev and our family, maybe even spend time in Kruger and enjoy our last years together.
Yet through all this activity, certain behaviours emerge in retirement. Even with the Masi project I find myself aimlessly watching TV, mainly sport, and channel swopping, not reading enough or being constructive with my free time.
The other concern is different. If I am not involved with work or an activity, social or otherwise, I get tired and take a nap in the afternoon. Constant motion is what I seem to need, or I just switch off. I need to adopt another pattern of behavior.
I have always been a late developer and hope to get there with my attitudes and behaviours in retirement before my time runs out.
Retirement. Yugh! But it beckons, and I have to grow up and accept its inevitable grasp. I just want to be able to do that on my own terms. I want to retire as I have always lived and worked – as me. Just a little bit more balanced.
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