Goodbye anxiety & doubt, this is the year I start taking care of myself

Note to self: stop worrying about what other people have to say about your plans, your feelings, and your decisions in life. You are the you that matters, when it comes to turning your dreams into action.

Living in my dream home – well, apartment – with my dream partner, Boki, is probably the biggest and most exciting event of this year for me, us.

This is not a decision we took lightly, mostly because, to put it bluntly, I care too much about other people’s thoughts.

I care too much about what other people think or what they will say when I make a decision for me, about me.

We’ve been together for seven years. Yes, we would love to tie the knot, and have white fluffy puppies run down the aisle as we take our steps to, I do, do you.

But let’s be real about it. Where will the money come from? So, my lovely, handsome, bearded boyfriend and I will take the leap and answer no questions about the decision we have made to start a home.

This means I have less than two months to care less and start putting my feelings first. It’s been hard, because when you care what other people think, it can make you become anxious and paranoid.

My mom and dad have been very supportive of our relationship. My mom is a lady with a strong tongue. When I told my mom that my boyfriend and I have started looking at apartments, thinking she’ll be as excited as I am, she says, “You must get married first!”

I giggled, and she said: “When will you get married?” I giggled again. It was my anxiety, creeping up on me. So, I explained that this is not 1980, and it’s not going to go the way traditional households would want it to be.

This bold statement was given its very own silent moment. Mom goes: “And what do his parents say?” At this point my nerves have been severed, and I don’t know how I’m breathing, because it is the last thing I need in my anxious mind. But I say that they too are supportive.

Mom: “You can do anything you want to do, as long as you are happy.”

Oh my word! This is the best response. It’s all I need to start my self-care journey.

So, to all the statements and questions that come with making your own life decisions, and which make me doubt myself, I say: “No. No more doubting myself.” This is the self-care moment where I get to decide for me about me and my life.