Whether your goal is to drive a fancy new car or shed a little of that post-holiday weight, a plan is just a dream that you work on, one small step at a time.
Like most people, I imagine, I want what I want right now. I’m impatient for change and not always up for the hard work it requires. I suspect it’s better to have what I want soon, but I might be wrong. What about having it later, when I’m ready?
I fantasise that the new car I dream of and the flat stomach I desire are only clicks away. That if I could, I would simply order a new set of abdominal muscles online and install them myself. That it’s possible, as if by magic, to transplant my family mid-journey from our sensible shoe of a car into the sleek beast with the silky lines that accelerates past me on the school run. I can see us in that car, I really can.
I can feel those muscles, somewhere. I want to win the lottery without buying a ticket. But real change takes time. I’m not good at long-term goals. I’m easily distracted and lack discipline, and my core values have fluctuated. Many of the things I care about have changed like the weather.
That’s saying a lot, living in Cape Town, where we sometimes have four seasons in one day. I must accept that sometimes the change I want has been so far away from my present state, that I’m dispirited before I even begin. Only now, with the benefit of a new habit, have things been looking up.
In giving up smoking six months ago, I’ve learnt that the very idea of a long-term goal is erroneous. Long-term goals require massive patience, sustained faith and diligent adherence to a plan. Can you really blame me for not wanting to follow through? I’d rather be reading a book on the sofa.
I made a calendar and crossed off the days I didn’t smoke, never expecting to get to three days, let alone a week. I said if I wanted a cigarette, I could have one tomorrow. And then, ten days in, I realised I could make it to two weeks, then 15 days, then 20, then 30. I’m now a non-smoker. It wasn’t a massive change, just a small one, repeated daily. One day at a time. No big goal, overwhelming me. Just a few hours, that’s all it took.
Now I am applying this same principle to my work, breaking it down into bits, just doing ‘the next right thing.’ While an end goal, closely tied up in the car fantasy, is a motivator, I will not find the sense of purpose I crave unless I do something daily.
Every morning, I meditate for the royal total of five minutes, and then write down what I need to do right now. The list I make does not terrify me. I include the things I don’t want to do, like phone the mechanic and book my car in to sort out the clutch.
Because I’m a little all over the place, the meditation is vital. Without it, my scattered concentration would infect my working day and the result would be chaos. This small tethering quietens my mind and allows me to focus, one step at a time. These increments add up, just like my short-term daily goals do.
I remind myself that most change is gradual, unnoticeable to the naked eye. Only much later will someone be able to say, you’ve changed. You look different. Nice car! And I will answer, yes, I feel different too. It’s taken time, and not simply one uninterrupted herculean effort or a stroke of unexpected fortune. This new car didn’t just land in my flat lap. I worked for it, one day at a time.
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