Lessons from an amateur husband

A conversation with Stuart Taylor, everyone’s favourite spouse around the house

TV presenter and funnyman Stuart Taylor may have graduated from Stellenbosch University with a Science degree to his name, but when it comes to being a husband and a dad, he’s still learning.

The good news for other apprentices in parenthood and marriage, is that he’s only too happy to share the lessons.

Stuart’s one-man comedy show, Learner Husband, has earned him rave reviews and an Overall Best Comedy award at the National Arts Festival, and the accompanying user manual of the same name promises to tell you everything you need to know about “Avoiding Collisions with Your Wife”.

We caught up with Stuart, husband to Elisca and dad to David, 5, and Andrew, 2, and asked him to share his thoughts on the art and science of modern relationships.

 

Q: If you could change one thing about yourself for the better, what would that be, and why?

A: I’m the king of procrastination. I’d probably have a lot more hours in the day if I just got on with the necessary instead of putting it off till later. That, and maybe if I played less “Candy Crush”, I’d also have more hours in the day.

 

Q: If you could change one thing about your wife for the better, what would that be, and why?

Nothing. She’s great as is. (There is a good chance she will stumble upon this & I don’t want to incriminate myself.)

 

Q: Where do you go when you feel like a change of scenery?

Poker with the boys. By that I mean the card game. It’s safe because all the guys are married so our wives can rest assured that there are no single men enthralling us with tales of single-dom.

Also, I go to a different Spur with the kids.

 

Q: What’s your own personal formula for coping with change in your life?

Breathe. Realise that nothing is permanent. Fighting change will break you, so don’t.

 

Q: What advice can you give to brand-new Learner Husbands, on learning to cope with the changes that marriage brings into their lives?

Buy my book! It’s a handy guide to avoiding collisions with your spouse. It also has a crash course on how wives work – required reading for the modern man.

 

Q: How much change do you have in your pocket right now?

None. I keep it all in the ashtray to tip the car guard.

 

Q: What has been the biggest change that being a dad has brought into your life?

I’m generally just a lot fitter because my parenting philosophy on raising boys is,  just tire them out so they don’t break stuff in your house.

This means more running, hiking and developing lean muscle mass from carrying two monkeys around constantly. Kids are like dogs, you need to exercise them regularly.

 

Q: What was the single biggest and scariest change you have ever made in your life?

I once tried to peroxide my hair. I wasn’t scared but, the people I robbed were terrified. That’s a joke obviously! I have never peroxided my hair.

 

Q: What does it take for you to change your mind?

Like most husbands, my opinions are easily swayed, as long as it’s not my wife trying to to the swaying.

If she tries to change my mind, I stand my ground.

Unless she gifts me a life on “Candy Crush”. Then I’ll say the earth is flat if she wants me to.

 

 


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