Sometimes it takes a big change to make you realise that the little things are what count in life, says Richard Mulholland
On having fun with my kids…
When I look back I see that many of the little things, which I took to be chores, were actually the fun stuff. If I did it again I would decide to make doing the bath not a “it’s your turn, its my turn, why do I have to do that, I just came home” experience but a “yay, I get to bath my child” one.
On loneliness…
When you first have your first child you go from being number one, or number only, to number three. You’re used to being the centre of somebody’s universe, which is quite an amazing feeling, to all of a sudden coming home and you aren’t anymore. I really struggled with it.
Men have fragile egos. We need attention. We need to make sure that we’re loved and that there’s affection. It’s a big deal. While I understand that there’s a lot going on and you’ve been at home with our child the whole day and things are happening, I want to feel like my day was important too.
On how divorce made me a better dad…
I don’t ever want to advocate divorce, and I never ever want to be cynical about being married. I recently got married again. But personally, it was hugely valuable in terms of how I relate to my kids.
When you pick up your kids, and it’s only you and them for the weekend, all of a sudden all those fights about whose turn it is are so weird. There’s nobody to fight with about bath time. It’s just bath time is what I do with the kids, and its fun and awesome.
And I can tell you without a doubt that my kids, while I’m sure they’d like me around, feel that I’m a far better dad now. My ex-wife feels that I’m a far better dad now.
Why I say this is because I don’t think you have to be divorced to experience that.
Watch the original conversation with Rich below
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