Everyone knows that you are what you wear. In business, especially, you’re liable to be judged by the way you look, as much as the way you act. But why, in 2017, are women still expected to “dress for success”? It’s time to take a serious look in the cupboard, and ask some tough questions about our choices.
I recently had a meltdown when I realised that a business women’s monthly dinner event was titled ‘Dress for Success’. I couldn’t believe this was still something that needed to be discussed, debated and explored. I wanted to scream “When was the last time 120 men got together to talk about what the dos and don’ts of professional attire?”
Why is this still a thing? The whole Women in Business narrative shifts from powerful and certain to ‘does my bum look big in this?’ if we open the door to this topic. Surely this is a massive step back to Working Girl 80s?
So I did what any of you would have. I took it to Facebook. And much conversation, discussion, cross-posting and arguing ensued from a lot of women, and some courageous men.
The discussions fell into four camps.
- This is ridiculous. If we are ever going to pull ourselves out of the image versus ability game. we need to stop worrying about what we look like.
- Image and self-grooming are important. No-one wants to work with someone who doesn’t care about themselves.
- I wear what I like, and anyone who thinks I can’t do my job based on my clothing, can take my senior position and shove it.
- I wear what I like, but that is because I run my own business and no-one can tell me different.
There were also examples of women who had run into professional obstacles because of their wardrobe choices. One woman was told if she wanted to move towards board level she would have to tone down her colours. Another lost a consulting job because a woman in the client’s offices felt she was showing too much cleavage.
Regardless of the position or the story, one thing became very clear. The number of comments and the emotional charge to them told me that indeed, we still need to talk about this. What women wear remains a political issue in the workplace. And yet I was still uncomfortable with it. I didn’t want to accept that 50 years after the first bra was burnt, there were a large group of professional women trying to work out whether wearing company-branded hoodies at a client meeting was okay.
I was talking to a friend who said simply, “How women dress tells you a lot about their self-esteem. And how confident people are tells you if you want to work with them.”
I was dumbfounded. And defensive. At the time I was wearing my ‘DIY mummy’ outfit – old jeans, the baggy hoodie I can hide in, and some sneakers I should have thrown out last winter.
On a scale of 1 to Kardashian, if anyone had to consider my self-esteem based on my clothes, it would have been placed the ‘throw in the towel, don’t even bother to get a wax’ part of the spectrum.
“What do you mean?” I wailed. “Sarah,” she said patiently. “What was the first thing you bought yourself when you got divorced?
“I bought leopard-print underwear I couldn’t afford from La Senza,” I replied.
Ooohhhhh. It sunk in. I bought that matching bra and panty set for one very clear reason. I wanted to feel good and confident and sexy, like the kind of woman who wears LEOPARD PRINT UNDIES.
And this is why many women still need to talk, think and consider what they wear to the office. We are still dressing the part. Once we have internalised the part, and our sense of comfort with the role matches our confidence to do it – then – we can drop this agenda point.
But it appears that many of us, including me, are not quite there.
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