As the world turns in turmoil, it’s easy to give way to the weight of fear and anxiety. Here’s an end-of-year checklist to help you stand strong, and learn to love change.
‘Hey Mom,’ my 18-year-old asked me, as I was putting the finishing touches on an admittedly underwhelming risotto. ‘Do you think the world can get out of this mess? Recover from climate change, Zuma, Trump, the rise of neo-fascism…’
‘I’d really like you to stop right there,’ I said, finding the nearest kitchen chair and slumping into it . ‘And my truthful answer. At the moment? I really can’t see how. But hopelessness is not an option either. Nor is living with your head in the sand. So… I’ve got nothing for you here, kid. But try to keep your chin up. I love you stukkend and I make a spectacularly, um, comforting, dinner.’
Clearly, the best parenting approach is not the first stab I made above, which was basically to tell a worried kid looking for reassurance: ‘Yup, hell in a handbasket is nigh, now eat up.’ (Mentally, I just put 100 bucks in the therapy jar.)
So we did what we do when we are stumped as individuals. We all sat together as a family and tried to come up with some form of plan. And what we came up with was this little list.
1) The world might be in a terrible place, but we are extremely lucky people and need to stay very conscious of that. Gratitude journalling, or at least a weekly updated note on your phone, can go a long way towards underlining that in your mind.
2) We notice the mental benefits every time we exercise, and then spend the rest of the month telling each other we are too tired/busy/flipping from Facebook to Instagram to Reddit to exercise. Let’s try break that cycle, by dusting off our bikes.
3) Control what you can. The world may look pretty damn mean, but you don’t have to be. Every kindness makes the world a little better, be it directed to yourself or someone else.
4) Be what you want to see in the world. Slower, more thoughtful, more caring. Making a difference in your own impact in the world is all you can do, and it is no small thing. A life can change a life which can change another.
5) Sleep. It’s healing and comforting and your subconscious needs to recalibrate more than ever.
6) Try not to hide. This is not the time to develop a penchant for blotting out the world with wine, or ramping up any other destructive coping mechanisms you may have. Don’t beat yourself up for this completely understandable response to stress. Just be aware of it.
7) Mindfulness is not a buzzword. Explore what works for you.
8) While it’s wrong to curate your news so that it becomes only what you want to hear, it’s also bad to obsess over each scary story. Try and ration your news consumption… and the best way to do this is to manage the amount of time you spend on social media.
9) Rely on each other. We are all feeling overwhelmed, but not always at the same time. We can also comfort each other.
We’re going to try focus on these things, which in a nutshell translates into: chin up and best foot forward, as kindly and thoughtfully as possible. Good luck, everyone.
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