Baby wearing. Did you know that’s a thing? There is even a Baby Wearing Association of South Africa. I discovered it while I was trawling the interwebs looking for a baby sling. I am a baby wearer and I didn’t even know it.
I carried Thing 1 a lot because she was allergic to anything with a seatbelt. Fortunately I stumbled upon a baby sling and never looked back. It allowed me to carry the baby while freeing my hands, and breastfeed without taking her out of the sling. I ended up giving her fancy pram away in mint condition.
When I had Thing 2 I didn’t even consider getting a pram. A baby sling allows me to travel light, and from what I have seen, you can’t operate a pram without a car guard.
I learned from the baby wearers that there are numerous physical, mental and emotional benefits that make baby wearers, I mean baby wearing, superior to prams and carriers. There is one benefit I’ve discovered all on my own. I should probably alert the baby wearing association.
When your child is strapped on to your chest, people cannot simply take her out of your arms without permission. This, irritatingly, happens a lot. Once the baby becomes a toddler it worsens, as they can scoop her off the ground unimpeded.
I had a little rant on Facebook after an adult insisted on grabbing Thing 2, even though she made it clear, through easy to interpret screaming, kicking and squirming, that she was not interested.
Said adult insisted that babies love her. The fact that this one didn’t did not stop her from attempting to impose her will on my child. My rant elicited a lot of educational comments from other mothers.
Here, I present the list of behaviours to desist with immediate effect:
1. Children, even babies have a will. Don’t take her out of my arms or pick her up without her permission. If she wants to be held by you, she will come to you.
2. Do not ruffle his hair or pat him on the head, if you have never changed his diaper. (Yes, white people, I am side-eyeing you here).
3. Do not make her kiss the creepy relative who smells like he needs a diaper change if she doesn’t want to. (Yes, black people, I am side-eyeing you here). It’s your mouldy uncle, why don’t you climb on his lap?
4. Do not talk about her body – weight, shape, hair, teeth – as if she is not there. If it would be considered rude were she an adult, it is rude.
5. Respect his “no”. We tell children that “no means no” and then disregard their no if we deem it impolite.
6. Her stranger does not have to be your stranger. Don’t teach them stranger danger only to try and override their responses when the person is not a stranger to you.
By the way, Thing 2 has teeth and she will use them.
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