We could all do with a break from the working routine every now and then, but some breaks are more than just a break.
A little over a year ago I decided to take a break. A long and pretty much permanent break from my day job.
Mostly I think of a break as a holiday, a vacation, a brief period of rest. A timeout, if you will. But a break can be any length of time. It can also be a break from your current trajectory, in pursuit of a new one.
In October of 2015, at the age of 34, I made the decision to “take a break”, by giving up my full time job as a PA and going back to university to do my Masters in Anthropology at UCT. Full time. It was a decision that was a year in the making.
I did think long and hard about the ramifications before considering leaving my job. I knew the decision I was making was risky, but I was unhappy. I was doing work was good at, with people I liked, but I felt unfulfilled and unchallenged.
I had never considered myself to be an especially ambitious person up until that point, but I realised through the process of choosing to leave my job that I actually am. My ambitions are just not very financial. I wanted a Masters, and maybe a PHD. I wanted to be more creative, to write more, perform more, do research and work that feels more altruistic.
My ambition is to give back to my community and honour my interests and passions, something being a PA in a corporate environment doesn’t offer. I realised that the Masters I wanted to pursue was in an entirely different discipline from my undergrad and honours.
I did a BA (hon) in Fine Art at Pietermaritzburg University, but I realised that Anthropology was in fact a better fit for me. And since I was now living in Cape Town, a Masters in Social Science (Social Anthropology) at UCT seemed the logical choice. Not a small change. But one that felt right.
Upon making my decision, and even now, a year and a half into my Masters degree, the comments and questions have abounded:
“Why didn’t/don’t you just study part time?”
“How will/do you afford it?”
“What will you do afterward?”
And of course, my favourite: “Oh you’re very brave going back to school at your age – I could never!”
But why was my decision brave? Surely breaking from something that doesn’t serve you, to pursue something that does is just common sense, no matter your age?
Going back to being a full time student after eight years in the “real world” of jobs, salaries, expenses and taxes has been interesting. As has adjusting to a new campus, new teachers and academic peers half my age.
But at the end of the day, no matter the obstacles, if you really want the change you’ll make it happen. I think it requires faith in yourself, rather than bravery.
Was I brave? No. Was I determined? Yes. I reap the rewards daily. Everything I wanted, I have received. I’m studying a thing I love, meeting wonderful new people, making ends meet in passionate and creative ways through teaching, writing and performance. I feel like I am actually fulfilling a purpose I can get behind and feel good about. This has been the best break I’ve ever taken.
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