I’m one of those people who need to seek permission from a community of cat farmers when I want to erect a Wendy House on my property or get a puppy.
Yes, I live in a security complex.
I live there because I want my kids to be able to walk to a friend’s house a few streets away, ride their bikes down the street and acquire a few scars while playing outside. I don’t want kids who get driven everywhere and are terrified to leave the yard. This is why I’m more than willing to put up with the irritations of sectional title living.
But the well-meaning people from no. 86 obviously don’t know this, which explains why they were at my door reporting that my children’s nanny is neglectful. Apparently Thing 1 has arrived at their home numerous times, unaccompanied, to play with their daughter, who at the age of 8 must be accompanied everywhere. When I explained that I prefer – actually insist – that my Thing walks to her friends’ homes by herself, they were flabbergasted.
Soon after this conversation, the nanny from no. 86 informed us that their daughter is no longer welcome at my house, which is a pity, because my house is like the Club Med of nannies and their charges. I have lots of comfortable garden furniture, and a jungle gym. Sun-worshipping nannies and thrill-seeking Things congregate in my yard like parliamentarians around calorific cocktail platters.
And then there was another incident where I had a conversation with a distressed nanny of a six week old who cries incessantly. I inquired if he was breast- or bottle-fed, as I suspected that he may be allergic to something judging by his patchy skin. It turns out that the baby is fed on a combination of formula and Herbalife. Yes, you read that right. The six-week-old is on Herbalife. He is a chubby little thing, so his well-meaning but disturbingly ignorant parents are feeding him a diet shake in the hopes that he’ll shed some kilos, or grams in his case.
Horrified, I was readying myself to go see the parents when the nanny begged me not to. She was afraid of losing her job, because when she objected to the Herbalife they made it clear that she was not paid for her opinions, despite the fact that she is a mother of three and they are newbies. So I sent a note instead, inviting the mom to come chat with me as I have some experience with fat, crying Things with patchy skin. Her one and only response? She wanted to know how I knew so much about her baby.
It turns out feeding your infant son Herbalife is not a crime – I checked on this.
Neither is allowing your six year old to walk 800 metres on her own, nor religiously honouring wine o’clock while breastfeeding, nor giving your Things unlimited access to sugar, nor is chain-smoking in the presence of your newborn.
But when our actions are not illegal, how should we know if it’s okay to intervene in the choices others make for their children?
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