Kagiso Msimango lives life in capital letters, with exclamation marks for extra oomph and verve.
“WOWness!” is what she calls her philosophy, a practical approach to embracing the principles of pleasure, passion, and purpose.
That’s what she teaches women at her Goddess Academy, an online platform dedicated to honouring and reclaiming “the divine power of the feminine”.
For Kagiso, it’s a way of sharing the lessons she learned herself, during her angst-filled early 20s, questioning the prevailing perception that life is a struggle.
Now, she sees it as something else: a celebration. Of beauty, of wisdom, of the power of change.
Here’s what Kagiso had to say after attending the recent Johannesburg Connection Session:
We caught up with Kagiso, an ever-busy author, blogger, life-coach, BrightRock Change Agent and mother of two delightful girls, and asked how change has changed her life.
Q: If you could change one thing about yourself for the better, what would that be, and why?
A: I would cure my addiction to thinking. I would think less and feel more. I am so bad I even think about my emotions instead of just feeling them. Thinking takes me out of my body and thus the present moment.
The present is the domain of the body, the domains of the mind are the future and the past, so I miss out on a lot of “now” moments because I am often stuck in my head.
Q: What do you love most about change?
A: The surprises. Change is a great way to discover things about yourself that never get to come out if you are busy with the same ol’, same ol’. It broadens your internal and external landscape.
Q: What would you say is the most radical change that parenthood has brought to your life?
A: Parenthood has made me more engaged with the world and life. I care more. This makes me more alive.
Q: Do you believe women are better equipped than men to handle change, and if so, why?
A: I wouldn’t say better equipped, just more familiar. Women are a lot more mutable than men. Very few things are constant with women. Our hormones are in constant flux, and these affect our emotions and thoughts.
Our bodies go through a lot more change than men. Because change is constantly present to women, we adapt to new circumstances quicker.
Q: What have your children taught you about change?
A: Children accept change with grace because they have no illusion about being in control. They go with the flow. Adults tend to operate under the illusion that we are in control, and when things change without our consent we throw tantrums. Children just go with the flow.
Q: Where do you go when you feel like a change of scenery?
A: I go hiking. I love being outdoors. I am attracted to trees, mountains and the earth. It cleans up my mind and when I come back I see things differently.
Q: What’s your own personal formula for coping with change in your life?
A: Change happens, all the time, because the opposite of change is stagnation. Most of us don’t like it because it challenges are sense of control. I attempt to “control” change by happening to it rather than waiting for it to happen to me.
Those times when things change without my consent, I identify the variables I can control and plan the hell out of them and I look for the grace to accept what is not within my control.
Q: What are your thoughts about marriage, and how it changes those who marry?
A: I am not married. I think I may be allergic to marriage. When I was younger I was afraid that marriage would influence my character and direction before I was fully formed. I think they call it a fear of engulfment.
Now that I am older I suspect that most women who think they want a marriage actually want a wedding! I am planning to have a wedding sans the marriage.
Q: What advice can you give to brand-new parents, on learning to cope with the changes that children bring into their lives?
A: The best start is to have few expectations and fixed ideas. It’s impossible to predict how life is going to be post-baby, so the fewer your fixed expectations, the easier you will adapt.
You and your partner are going to find new things to fight about. Between your hormones and sleepless nights, everything is a big deal. This too shall pass.
Have back-up cloth diapers.
It really does take a village to raise a child. The two of you cannot do it alone, so enlist help from friends, grandparents, aunts and uncles. If this is not viable for whatever reason, “buy” a village in the form of nannies and domestic help.
Q: What was the single biggest and scariest change you have ever made in your life?
A: Having my second child soon after becoming self-employed. Not the cleverest of moves. I quell the panic by not projecting my thoughts too far into the future.
Q: What does it take for you to change your mind?
A: Life happens. It test your ideas about whatever and leaves them wanting, so you draw a new conclusion. Sometimes the conclusion I draw is that I still don’t know enough, yet.
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