Life only begins at the end of a comfort zone. That’s the love-change philosophy that lures and guides Hlubi Mboya on her journey from one challenge and opportunity to the next.
Best known for her breakthrough role as the HIV-positive Nandipha Sithole in Isidingo, Hlubi has never been afraid to shift gear and try something new. She studied politics and labour law at UCT, but dropped out in her final year when she fell in love with the energy of Joburg on a holiday visit.
Starry-eyed and fiercely determined, she found a showbiz agent in the Yellow Pages, and kick-started a career that has included several movie roles and a high-profile position as an ambassador in the campaign against HIV.
A perennial favourite on magazine covers and TV reality shows, Hlubi made a splash with her recent nuptials, decked out in full Xhosa regalia while her groom, Kirsten Arnold, looked equally splendid in a kilt. Hlubi sat down with Ruda to chat about life, love, and change after Isidingo.
Transcript:
R: Hello, and welcome to another session with the Change Exchange, with another absolutely great guest – Hlubi Mboya. And we’ve just met and it feels not like that at all. Welcome, and thank you for giving us your time.
H: So lovely to be here.
R: You grew up in Cape Town and you went to Rustenburg Girls?
H: Yes.
R: Did you … what did you dream of being when you were a little girl?
H: A diplomat. I wanted to represent Africa and South Africa across the globe. I’ve always been a people’s person, I’ve always been very patriotic, and I believe in the African might, so to do that in some way and represent our country and continent has always been a dream of mine. And it’s just amazing how the cards have fallen into what I’m doing now, but I still think that I’m playing a major role in trying to represent us as best as we can, and I’m a lover of my people and my nation. It’s in a different way that I’m doing it, not as …
R: Quite, quite. Let’s trace that route. What happens? What happened after matric?
H: I went to UCT and I wanted to study labour law and I did B. Soc. Sci., so that is bachelor of politics, African politics and labour law. In my fourth and final year I actually came to Johannesburg for a December holiday with my cousin – 5FM DJ Thomas Msengana, and I just fell in love with this city, Ruda. I fell in love with the energy, I fell in love with the possibilities, and in my fourth and final year – a semester to go – I dropped out.
R: You silly girl!
H: I know! With just two bags on my back and I came to Johannesburg – Jozi, Jozi.
R: And then, how did Isidingo happen?
H: I literally went through the Yellow Pages to find my agent, who I have been with for 15 years, and I walked into her office and I said I think I have a role to play in this industry, I’m passionate about the arts and give me a chance. And that’s exactly what she did, and a three-month part in Isidingo turned into ten incredible years. And that’s the beginning of everything.
R: What was it like that Isidingo, the Nandipha role, the whole HIV thing – because that was a time when HIV was still a death sentence and therefore stigmatised?
H: It changed my life. It opened my heart and my passion and the role I wanted to play in the injustices. Removing stigmas, education, inspiring hope … and that in itself had a chain reaction and opened me up to so many other different opportunities and possibilities – especially when you are of service to people and an ambassador for so many things, and ja, it’s my life’s work. It really is my life’s work.
R: How did your audience respond to this persona?
H: You know what, Ruda, my father is very much … he’s the Chairperson of Nepad, which is a democratic kind of organisation running through Africa to instil democratic processes and governance. So HIV/Aids is very close to his heart. And as daddy’s girl, always will be. I actually went to him and asked him should I take this role, because it was opened up to the cast of Isidingo because it was so relevant and needed to be spoken about and needed to be highlighted, and he said to me: “Hlubi, nothing bad can ever come out of planting a good seed.” And I took it from there, and obviously as an actress you don’t want to be typecast into that role, but I was a newbie and it was my first acting gig, so I wasn’t thinking so far ahead. It was the best experience of my life, the best decision that I’ve ever made and as I said, it’s opened my world up to so many more important charities, which you know about and it’s my life’s legacy.
R: And you were an HIV ambassador?
H: I still am and forever will be.
R: And what does that mean?
H: I’ve travelled through Africa, I believe in the African Girl Child and motivate, inspire the African Girl Child, and education is a big part of my life. I go to schools, I stand for eradicating stigmas for it. And I work for the WFP, which is the UN and obviously that goes hand in hand – nutrition goes hand in hand. I am a Nelson Mandela ambassador, which is HIV education through building school libraries, Reach for a Dream – those are kids with chronic or really bad child diseases, so that plays a part. So it’s just interlinking and interlocking in everything that I do. And it’s the educational part that I’m really passionate about. And I need to be in a space where kids are at, and I love that. I love teenagers, I love their energy, and I think in the process of being an HIV ambassador, I’ve seen the change in teenagers whereby I first felt there was a lot of denial and apathy about their futures, and now, incidences like #FeesMustFall just show me they’ve got energy and they’ve got vision and they’ve got a commitment to their future, and I’ve really been part of that change in energy – I’m all about energy. So it’s been a privilege.
R: I’m also really impressed with the generation coming through.
H: They’re standing up for themselves and what they want.
R: And they are, as you say, absolutely passionate about grabbing a different future.
H: I love it, I love it.
R: But coming back to your history, then, when was it? 2011? When you left Isidingo. Now that’s, just in terms of a monthly income, it’s a huge thing.
H: Life only begins at the end of a comfort zone. That’s what they say.
R: How did you make that decision?
H: You know, it was part and parcel of … Isidingo is a business, like any entertainment system is. And they needed AR’s, they needed to have new faces and fresh storylines. And I think as Nandipha, I think I hit the roof of what I wanted to do with the character. And I needed to take a leap of faith and try and find another acting job, but the beauty of life is that through that desperate time of not knowing where your next pay check is going to come, when your next gig as an actor is going to come … I had to reinvent myself. And as a brand and as Hlubi, I had to find different ways of finding work and it’s opened up … It was a gift. It was a blessing in disguise. Because it’s opened up a different Hlubi that I would have never experienced if I still stuck to that soapy.
R: What do you mean?
H: Sports. I’m a sports fanatic and I love that.
R: You’ve done the Cape Epic!
H: I climbed Kilimanjaro … Listen to this, I’m thinking of doing the Himalayas …
R: She is amazing!
H: So …
R: Sorry, what did you say? You want to climb the Himalayas?
H: Yeah, I do. Aconcagua, which is the South American highest peak is … I’m thinking about doing that. But my husband is like, can we have babies first? So it’s a catch 22. What else have I done? So it’s been a real fitness journey, which I discovered that I’m great at and I’m passionate about and I’m very competitive. But at the same time it’s also a sense of giving back, because I use that to really tap into the younger generation. I use that to motivate and inspire people just to be the best versions of themselves possible.
R: But it’s difficult to handle the insecurity of a freelance life. How did you adapt to that?
H: You never adapt to it. You never, ever adapt to it. And it’s something that really keeps me alive. I love the rush of hustling and hunting and the grit and the grind, but at the same time, at 37 years old, you want a sense of stability and you want to wake up every single morning and have one place to go to, but I think … My personality type, I get bored very easily, you know. But I leave it up to destiny and I leave it up to hard work and never ceasing to grab every single opportunity and always being in momentum – that’s when opportunities really come by you.
R: And, you’ve been in a number of films as well.
H: Yes, it’s my passion.
R: How does one make yourself an attractive proposition as an actress? Apart from being right for the role and doing well with the audition? What makes you stand out?
H: That’s a great question. Everything and every time I do a great film or even a soapy, even Isidingo, even Rhythm City even Mfolozi, I go straight to the scriptwriters, I go straight to the directors and said I don’t want to play it safe. The edgier, the better. I don’t want people to be reminded of the role that I just played. I must be completely different in everything. And they do that. It might not be the greatest hit, but for me it’s professionally satisfying and I love the fact that my fans can see me stretch as an actress. It’s very important to me. It’s my passion. It’s my deepest desire, and through that I find that it gives me a platform and access and it gives me a sense of being approachable to do the work that I do and spread the message.
R: So your work, your career, your paying work is almost only a platform for what you really want to do, which is all the charity stuff … Not just charities, I’m using it loosely.
H: Yes, as I said, it’s a platform because it gives people access, the numbers. And people love to be motivated by people who walk the walk and talk the talk, and I think the different roles that I’ve played have really engaged with people. They haven’t been like easy wishy washy, for me, kind of characters. And I love that.
R: Now, lately, Rhythm City? How did that come about? Why did you go back to a daily?
H: Consistency. Work. Consistent work. A salary at the end of the day. But most importantly it was an opportunity to be back on prime time television. It’s all about visibility – you know that. So it was important for me – at the same time, Ruda, I didn’t want to get locked down to a situation where ten years just went like that, which is what happened in Isidingo. I couldn’t believe that with a blink of an eye I’ve been in a soapy for ten years. So, with that as my history, I’m really trying to be clever and creative. I got where I want to go and how long I want to stay in different acting roles.
R: You’re very conscious about your career. About where you are, where you’re going … How you want to plan it.
H: I have to be.
R: You don’t just – there’s a door open … Oh that sounds interesting, I’ll just wander through?
H: You know what … A little bit of both? I think gone are the days where it’s just about having a job and just going with it and being there for as long as you’re wanted. I think at some point you just have to wrestle with … You know … At what point does this door lead to nowhere? You know, I think sometimes you need to close the door, because you’re going to be there for ten years and … But at the same time we all have different priorities. I can say that because I don’t have kids. But when the babies come … It’s not just about me and what I want to do with my career.
R: So tell me about these prospective babies and their dad …
H: Cappuccino babies! They’re going to be so cute with little Afro hair … We’ve been together for 15 years.
R: How did it happen?
H: Gosh! Mutual friends.
R: Fifteen years – so you were 22?
H: I was 22. And apparently he always had a crush on me because he’d seen me on Isidingo and said: “I’m going to get her, I’m going to get her!” But honestly, you know, he’s my best friend. No flowery language, nothing else. He’s my buddy, he’s my boy. And we take every day as it comes. We just got married – on Saturday. So we’ll see how things go. But I … I think I’ll have to grow up and I love kids. And I want a lot of my own, but things are expensive – it’s tough economic times.
R: You don’t buy them? They happen, for free. Staying with you and your husband – I was just looking at your wedding pictures and it’s on the Drum website, nogal. And they’re amazing! Because she’s in full-on Xhosa gear, with the dots and everything. And he’s in a Scottish kilt! It’s amazing!
H: We wanted that.
R: How do you navigate the cultures? Because obviously both of you retain your own culture very strongly?
H: You know, most importantly, is that we’re just both South Africans, and as much as I am a black female Xhosa woman, I’m a wife. I’m a daughter. And a soon to be mother first. It was great for us two to express ourselves. It was great for our parents, I think, most importantly, because it’s a family affair and I learned so many things in the process of getting married.
R: Like what?
H: Like family is life, Ruda. My cousins from all over came through. His mom from Australia came through. And we didn’t have any celebrities at the wedding. It was just at my parents’ house, with our cousins and family and it was perfect.
R: But this was actually Chapter 2 of the marriage. He paid lobola?
H: Of course.
R: Two years before?
H: How does that work?
H: What do you mean?
R: I mean in practical terms? Who negotiates? How do they decide how many?
H: It’s family, it’s his uncles with my father and his uncles and it’s just about … It’s not monetary value, it’s not like a dowry.
R: It’s a rite? It’s a rite of passage?
H: And it’s also about the quality of the relationship that we will have and we’re really serious about that. And it’s also just a respect factor to our uncles – on both sides. And it’s very much traditional and what I loved about him – he loved every single process. We’re very open to each other’s cultures and we want that. And that’s a kind of where we want to raise our kids. It’s about love first, and the only thing else, you know, the more mixed it is, the better for me. A perfect melting pot, and that’s what I want. That’s what I desire.
R: And you say that you want babies, but they don’t exist yet. Tell me about your relationship with your parents?
H: I’ve got great … especially my father. I’m a daddy’s girl. He’s the perfect example … he’s the first man I’ve loved, obviously. The perfect example of what it is to be a husband. The perfect example of a great father.
R: You’re so lucky to have that.
H: I know that, and that’s what taught me about the marriage, about the wedding is that I’m so blessed and I’m so privileged to be able to have made all the decisions of being a bride with my parents by my side. Lots of people don’t have that. It’s an eye opener. At 37, my parents are getting old, so I’m living every moment with grace and gratitude just to spend time with them.
R: And your home? Where do you live?
H: In Randburg. It’s great property value – huge property for a great price and we love it there. And it’s close to the church, it’s close to the gym and it’s got a little crèche nearby, so we’re like: “We’re good.” For the next couple of years, everything that I need.
R: So that was what you looked for – is basically where it is in relation to other things. And then, the house itself? What’s the best thing about it? Is it light? Is it big trees? What?
H: Great homely energy. Nothing fancy, but just a reflection of who we are. Lots of parties, lots of shot glasses, a beautiful garden. My mother in law has got green fingers, so … and lots of pictures. We love pictures. So it’s … great. He says I’m a hoarder, which I am, so I’ve got a lot of junk. But that’s who I am.
R: So what’s the one thing that you take with you and as you put it down you think this is now home?
H: What do you mean?
R: Is there something… A vase?
H: I love pictures. I love taking pictures and keeping them and framing them. That memory – it’s just big for me, very much.
R: But I’m sure you’re going to make many more of those, and there will be new, little, little Hlubi’s …
H: I’ll let you know.
R: You must let us all know. All of the very, very, very best.
H: Thank you so much – it means everything to me coming from you. Thank you.
R: Go well, until next time.
Leave a Reply