It doesn’t have to be waitressing. And it doesn’t have to just be my daughter, this applies to my son too. But what I really want both of them to do, before they enter the official world of work, is to spend some time earning their own money.
My husband and I both worked as teens/young adults. He was a waiter while at school and then delivered pizzas and dished out drinks as a barman while at university.
While at UCT, I was a waitress and one of those promo girls you ignore politely in supermarkets as they try and foist samples of a new type of cheese on you.
Shew, but I did some unusual jobs. I once had to dress in pink lycra and ride a scooter around Makro, handing out free lollipops. Pity that they chose a store in an area with many Muslim people who were fasting, because they asked me to do this DURING RAMADAN. No one wanted my lollipops, never mind a scantily clad woman trying to give them one. Talk about not doing your research.
I’ve lobbed free muffins and apples at workmen on the back of trucks during peak Cape Town traffic. Been a Bacardi girl giving away shooters. Scrubbed yachts in Miami. Fitted ski boots to oversize Americans in Vail. And handed out so many canapes and cleared so many dishes that my back used to ache afterwards.
But all through this, the life lessons were getting dished out left, right and centre and this is why I want my kids to go through something similar.
Never mind the financial benefits of getting your young adult child to work, here are all the other benefits of spending time being a waitress/waiter:
You learn humility. Serving someone in any type of environment, be it at a restaurant, a coffee shop or a hotel, requires you to learn to be humble. No matter how you progress in life, in your career or in terms of your bank balance, humility can be one of your greatest assets. Plus, the last thing I want to do is raise entitled kids.
You learn how to deal with people. From old men pinching my bum to rich ones treating me like I’m stupid, you learn some PROPER people management and social skills from doing a job like being a waitress. You learn how to mediate, disagree politely if necessary, and what type of behaviour is acceptable and what is not.
You learn the value of money. There was no more thrilling feeling than driving on a Friday afternoon to the office and picking up that little brown envelope packed with crisp notes. And the freedom of knowing that I could spend that money on anything I chose! I still have that feeling today.
You learn how to budget. Hopefully these money management skills are taught earlier on in life (at school?) but having to work out whether that new jacket is REALLY worth 3 or 4 hours of your time is a skill I’m still using. I remember living in London as a 20-something, working in a depressing warehouse doing data capturing. I was a bit short one week and lived off vegetables some previous tenants had left behind in the house. The potatoes had EARS on them but I snipped them off and microwaved them and ate them with salt and butter. A little bit of ‘living lean’ never hurt anyone.
You learn how to tip properly. I understand that there are affordability issues sometimes, but if you can afford to eat out then you can probably afford to give your waitress/waiter a few extra Rand more than the generally accepted 10% (especially if they’ve done a great job). Before we got married, I have a clear memory of Gareth tipping someone generously (because he remembered how it felt to work at the Spur) and I fell a little bit more in love with him at that moment.
You learn responsibility. From making sure your uniform is clean to setting your alarm clock, working for someone else teaches you how to be an adult and how to be responsible. In a world of helicopter parents and spoilt brats, this skill is seriously missing in many kids today – they’re just not ready for the big wide world.
You learn the value of hard work. I remember that feeling at the end of a long function where we’d served hundreds of people and cleaned up countless empty glasses. Your muscles would be aching, you’d be sweating, your feet would hurt. But afterwards you’d sit around with your other staff members, maybe share a beer, chat about the evening and feel like you’d really accomplished something.
You learn how to tidy up after yourself. From wiping salt and pepper shakers when I worked in the States to cleaning up broken glasses and crumbled muffins, I’ve learned that you should at least try and make the waitresses’ job a little easier. Accidents happen (and so do kids) but if Ben starts emptying the sugar sachets all over the table I generally try and use a wet wipe to make it some semblance of clean before we leave.
You learn how to carry more than two dinner plates at one time. Essential life skill.
What do you think? Did you do jobs like waitressing and will you want your kids to as well?
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