As the year winds down, Andreas Wilson-Späth takes a deep breath and shares some advice about staying sane with teenagers in the house
As the Silly Season approaches, all my teenage sons seem capable of thinking about is the bliss of plonking themselves in front of their computers to play online games with their mates until the new school year rolls along.
All I can think about is how we’re going to negotiate the stress and mayhem involved in finishing one year and getting ready for the next.
What subject choices do they need to make ahead of the following grade? What impact will those have on their post-matric plans? Do they have any post-matric plans? Who wants what for Christmas? Where are we going on holiday? Will Joe’s soccer boots last for another term? What are the stationary and set-work requirements for the new year? The list seems endless and daunting.
In my experience, forward planning, even if it involves fairly important life decisions, doesn’t feature particularly prominently on teenage priority lists. I completely get that – enjoy living in the moment for as long as you can, boys. (Or is this just a boy thing? I’d be interested to compare notes with people who have teenage girls.)
As parents, that leaves us with the hefty responsibility of guiding them along, without making all their decisions for them. Here are some tips that will help you find your way through the end-of-year maze:
Plan ahead
Unless you take perverse pleasure from scrambling to buy school supplies on the last day of the holidays, start strategising now, and you’ll be able to have a relaxing holiday.
Brainstorm
Sit down with pen and paper, and jot down the things you need to deal with. You might want to start the process on your own and call a family meeting or one-on-one sessions to give everyone a chance to add to the list. Alternatively, post a sheet of paper on the fridge door and provide a marker pen for everyone to contribute thoughts when they next go for a gulp of cold milk.
Prioritise
Rank items on your to-do list according to importance and time sensitivity. Involve the entire clan. Attach a deadline to each item, chore or decision, where applicable.
Delegate
Parental guidance is one thing. Running your teenage children’s lives is quite another. Get them to action items on the to-do list themselves. Let them find out what they need for school. If they’re approaching matric, ask them to research future plans, whether these involve attending university, applying for a job or taking a gap year. This will foster autonomy and confidence, and will help them clarify what they want to do. Of course you’ll always be there for advice.
And finally…relax!
Plan well, tick the items off your to-do list, and use the end of the year in the way your meant to. By celebrating achievements and looking forward to what’s to come, without any stress, chaos or headaches.
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