When people ask me what I do for a living, I have to remember to include that I sometimes write about parenting. It used to be the converse, where all I wrote was about parenting, especially when I had a cherubic toddler at my side.
As parents, we’re eager to make and keep memories that matter, but as kids get older, it seems those stories trail off. That evolution is reflected in the media too. Read any article on parenting, and it’s probably going to cover the cutesy baby days, a toddler dilemma or a schoolchild’s schedule.
Once your child scoots past the age of 10, resources become thinner on the ground. I’ve yet to find a list entitled: “top 10 tips for handling a teen angst session”. Think about it – the majority of your family memories were made while you were growing up.
If you’re anything like me, most of those are crammed into the second decade of your life, and not the first. That’s why I’m on a mission to make more memories with my kid, now that she’s into the second decade of her life. These are the moments she’ll latch on to for the rest of her life, so it makes sense to make the effort now. For those memory moments though, I’m often picking the more mundane times, with very good reason.
My folks were remarkable memory makers. My childhood was peppered with incredible moments, including some crazy family outings, such as searching for a comet at weird hours of the morning. Mixed with our funny family history, is a bed of memories I can rest on, any time I like. But the best ones, for me, appear to be mundane at their roots.
My dad liked to cart us off to a hotel for Sunday morning breakfast, but with an eye on the purse strings and a desire to do it herself, my mom took over and proclaimed Sunday morning to be family breakfast time.
We’d regularly gather around a table that groaned under the weight of its feasts, and it’s a tradition I’ve sought to replicate in my family life. Mealtimes are an opportunity to spend time together, so I will pile on the flapjacks while we talk about the Sunday newspapers.
My daughter started drinking coffee recently. Not every morning, but an occasional cup. It started when we realised she was quickly outgrowing the kiddies’ menu, so nowadays we stop for a cappuccino and muffin. That might seem like a silly thing, but it’s during those coffee dates that we really chat.
A lot of people hate packing lunches for their kids. I do too, because I have to think of something interesting to slap on a sandwich and make sure the snacks are healthy. But the thing I probably put more effort into, is the love note.
I’ve taken the wisdom of my own mother here – I have kept every note she ever gave me or shoved under my bedroom door – and tried to make a point of including a note on special days, or on a random “just because” day. If these are the things my daughter will remember me by, I’d better make them good.
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