Whether you are moving to a bigger, more spacious house, or downsizing to something smaller and more manageable, moving house is stressful.
It can be especially stressful for children, because moving house is a disruption of your routine, and any disruption of routine causes stress. Moving disrupts the whole family, and then you have to deal with the packing too!
Younger children will feel anxiety around a new environment and a new house, so establishing the old routine, the one they are used to, can help them to settle in.
If it’s possible, visit the new house before you move, and show them where they’ll play, where they’ll sleep and so on. Even if you can’t do that, what take them to their new school and show them the parks in the area. Familiarising them with the new suburb will help to prepare them for the move.
Talk with them about who might visit them in the new house from their playgroup or class at school. Help them understand what will change and what will stay the same. And don’t just tell them – do those things. They can’t imagine it, they have to experience it.
Anticipate disruptions in sleep or nightmares with younger children. And once you’re at the new house, go through those rituals like cleansing the room of the bogey man, and checking under the bed or in the wardrobe for monsters.
If you’re moving far away, you can put together a memory box of the old house. Take pictures, scoop up some of the soil or stones, and put them in a box. Have a farewell function or party at playschool or crèche so your child can say good-bye. Even if they are very young, they do remember.
When it comes to teenagers, get them involved in choosing a house and scouting out the area. Make them part of the decision-making process. If they are going to a new school, encourage them to host a social gathering where they can invite new friends. Some teenagers struggle to adjust socially and feel awkward, so help them make new friends.
Teenagers are quite attached to their things, but moving is a good opportunity to get rid of some of the old stuff. Get them involved – let them do the throwing away so they can make room for what’s new. Let let them help decorate their new rooms. It helps them to feel more in control. Make them responsible for packing up their own rooms, and for unpacking on the other side.
And one final point: make sure when you do pack up to move that the things your kids need immediately for school are easy to access. It takes longer than you think to unpack and settle, so make sure they can get to those things easily.
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