3 Golden rules to survive the school holidays

kidsholidays_PostedMoms and dads of small children, it’s that time of year again. Screaming. Yelling. Tearing out hair. And that’s just you. Seasoned holiday mom Stacey Vee shows you how to avoid the chaos

Ah, the December school holidays. Peace on earth, joy to the world, and all that good stuff. Except, moms and pops know that five weeks of nothing but Phineas and Ferb and tantrums over whose turn it is to play with the iPad, is anything but peaceful. For some families, the upcoming holidays are as long as seven weeks. SEVEN WEEKS, people!

When I began knitting together this article, it consisted solely of a kick-ass list of fun holiday activities to do with your kiddiewinkles. Especially for younger kids. Teens are better at amusing themselves, but children who are accustomed to activity-packed mornings of finger-painting and frolicking at nursery school go cold turkey in December holidays, and it is NOT pretty.

(Teacher Peggy, if you’re reading this, I’ll pay you R100 an hour to come to our house and sing Barney songs with my boys. Okay. R200!)

A list of activities is essential, but not enough. There are three golden rules for happy holidays that keep our household from going the way of Lord of the Flies. They are:

RULE 1: Holidays are for the whole family, not just the kids

Schools are closed. Your domestic worker is taking a deserved break. And unless you’ve saved up a boatload of leave days, you’re probably spending a fair chunk of the 5-7 weeks of Dec/Jan holidays still at the office. Grinch, anyone? Try to set aside bite-sized adults-only holiday time so that you also get some ‘me’-time. Send the kids to granny for a few days. Schedule date nights. Spend all the massage vouchers you’ve accumulated during the year.

RULE 2: Don’t mess with the routine

We tend to treat holidays like one long weekend, and when January rolls around we find ourselves asking: “What day of the week is it, even?” If you get out of bed at a reasonable hour, eat at the breakfast table, and keep the old family routine ticking away in power-save mode during the Never-ending Holiday, you’re less likely to be snarling by week 2.

RULE 3: Plan ahead  

There’s only one way you’re going to make it through, and that’s Scout-style. In other words, be prepared! It’s ludicrously expensive to organise family outings every day. So what to do? Using ordinary household items – bibbity bobbity boo – you have a whole whack of activities to stop bored kids from turning into brat kids.

I’d like to point out that I’m not a craftsy mom. I once super-glued my fingertip to my eyebrow! So the activities below are what I consider low-maintenance fun. (What, you didn’t think I was going to stiff you on that list of activities, did you?) Here we go!

Cereal necklaces: One box of cereal, one roll of string = breakfast jewellery. We don’t get Fruit Loops in South Africa anymore, so we use Oatees. They even have bubblegum flavor.

Are your tweens looming? Silly question, of course they are. Get them to make decorations for the Christmas tree. Pinterest is full of ideas.

Build marshmallow sculptures using toothpicks. Then when you’re done, make smores. Sandwich a marshmallow between two Marie biscuits and microwave for a few seconds.

Tinfoil river in the backyard. Unroll tinfoil down a sloped bit of the garden, make boats out of toothpicks and leaves, and stand at top of the slope, pouring water from a jug.

Finally, a use for all the bubblewrap you’ve saved: Unroll it down the length of your hallway, tape it down to the floor, and let the kids stomp up and down.

Let them draw on the walls! Just tape up a whole roll of brown paper wrapping first.

Stained glass master class. Use a sheet of baking paper (not the waxy side), draw a pattern in stained glass style and colour it in with Koki pens. It’s very festive when you tape these up on the windows and the sun streams through them.

Hot Wheels heaven: While you’re taping things, use masking tape to create fantastical race-tracks and miniature towns on the TV room carpet. Don’t worry, the tape comes off easily and doesn’t leave a sticky residue.

Chalk art in the driveway: Unleash the kids on the driveway with a box of chalk. You can hose it away when they’re done.

Build a blanket fort. This never fails to entertain. Never. For festive flair, wrap some fairy lights around the outside.

Treasure hunt in the sandpit. Dig for pirates gold or dinosaur bones.

Make your own pizza. We buy bases by the dozen, and use up all the leftover onion, green pepper, cheese and ham on Friday nights.