How to be fab at being a dad, without turning into a wuss

It takes a real man to roll up his sleeves and change a nappy, says Paul Kerton, bravely volunteering for the job.

I deliberately avoided marriage and children all my adult life, until I met my wife. We both felt broody at the same time and had this sudden urge to be grown-up and responsible and have children. Luckily, as soon as my wife came off the Pill, she fell pregnant.  [one_half padding=”10px 20px 10px 0″]This was a relief, because we knew of several couples that, sadly, couldn’t have kids as easily as we did. But then, once the celebrations were over, it hit me. OMG, what do we do now? Or rather, ‘what do I do?’ I didn’t even know the difference between an epidural and an epiglottis! In my quest to figure out what was expected of me as a dad, I found very little information on babies aimed at men. There were a few token paragraphs in mum-to-be books, but they were patronising and lacking in any real empathy or detail.[/one_half] [one_half_last padding=”10px 0px 10px 20px”]

[/one_half_last] [one_half padding=”10px 20px 10px 0″]Most of the advice in these books boiled down to: “And boys, if you really want to get involved, you need to give your partner lots of support”. I wanted to do more – and know more – than this, and I wanted to know what to expect every step of the way. The minute a couple falls pregnant there is no shortage of advice from friends, family sages and birthing professionals – most of which is not only unasked-for, but also conflicting. So we had heaps of information, but none of it was designed to make sense to me as a dad. Each time I learned something, I felt more disconnected rather than engaged with the birth of my own child. When our first child was born, I was editor of Men’s Health magazine, so I decided to write a book for dads in the Men’s Health ‘locker-room’ style.[/one_half]
[one_half_last padding=”10px 0px 10px 20px”]At the time, baby books were too flowery and pastel-coloured for a man’s liking. I wanted to show men that we could be fab dads without turning into total wusses.
I wanted to offer them advice from a man’s perspective. So yeah… I wrote the book I most wanted to read during the pregnancy. I think too many men think that getting involved with their children is an ‘unmanly’ thing to do, but the opposite is true. It takes a real man to roll up his sleeves and change a nappy. Becoming a dad is a seismic change. The change seemed obvious at first – the most obvious in how I spent my time and my money. Slowly it became clear that the shift was more internal – it was about how I saw myself as a man.[/one_half_last]