Whether it’s guava fights in the garden or mom’s angry-vacuuming, children learn best when they learn by example
Mama, what’s on the cards for today? This is not the QE2 and I am not your cruise director, I replied to my tween son.
It was day 60-something of lockdown and my former on-board-passenger-for-three-trimesters was turning to me to banish the boredom.
I was over the initial working-from-home-is-such-a-treat joy. I wasn’t sure where work ended and where home started.
But parenting is about putting your child first at all times, especially in scary times.
My husband lives with a rare lung disease, and we made it clear to our friends and family circle that we were under strict lockdown and would not be visiting or be visited until we feel safe. So no friends, hangouts or sleepovers.
As an only child, my 12-year-old son is used to being alone, so I was not too worried about him. But I made a mental post-it to keep an eye on his mental health.
As the weeks dragged on, I realised my son was coming to me to help him make sense of things and for comfort. He called it boredom, because he didn’t have the words to make sense of his feelings.
Once online schooling resumed, we started with a bang – fractions. I was never really good at maths, and the maths our kids are doing is so far removed from the maths we did. But my boy needed me and this mama was going to show up.
In a fit of inspired parenting and trying to make fractions fun, I had the genius idea to bake a beer box cake.
The beer box cake made me think of all those birthdays at school when a well-off mom baked this massive cake and the entire class could get a big, delicious chocolate/vanilla square.
As for helping my son with fractions, all I can say is that a quarter definitely tastes better than a 16th.
He loved it so much, that he regularly bakes a beer box cake (he has enough beer boxes thanks to his dad’s panic beer-buying), and he polishes that cake off in no time.
We’ve added some basic dishes to his skills set. I’m hoping to send him into the world able to know his way around the kitchen.
My next bit of inspired parenting struck when I had to clean one side of our dining room table for him to do schoolwork.
My laundry routine is wash, hang, and dump dry clothes on the dining room table. We get dressed from there, unless we are wanting to eat at the table.
It was while tidying that my son commented that he hates the way I fold his tees and tops because when he looks for a top, he can never refold the tops he didn’t mean to take out.
I do the good old retail fold, which makes it rather difficult for a tween in a hurry to get to his fave tee.
I mentioned that maybe the KonMari fold would be easier. He’s so chuffed with himself, he folds all our tees on the dining room table without being asked.
He even showed his cousin and sold it as a hack for organising your cupboard in record time.
Now he wears his dad’s tees so that his cupboard can stay tidy. I was also very aware of him needing to get outdoors, but how, if we can’t leave home during lockdown?
I love pottering in my garden. Before lockdown, his only forays into the garden were to start vrot-guava fights with me when he felt I was pottering for too long.
We have dead, sandy soil, so I keep my favourite plants in pots. And they seem to have outgrown their pots.
We did a few transplants, and his running commentary was hilarious. The Grey’s Anatomy scriptwriters have nothing on him.
He’s been on the lookout for potential transplant recipients ever since. Only time will tell if he has a green or black thumb.
I’m under no illusion that all of this is just him wanting to learn more. A good chunk of these new parenting wins for me, is definitely schoolwork avoidance. But in these times, any win will do.
To test my new theory, I jokingly handed him the vacuum a few weekends ago and said, please do your room. I was expecting a quick one-spot vacuum like I did when I was his age.
But when I heard the vacuum going after a while, I went to investigate. I was totally expecting the vacuum to be running and him watching a YouTube video.
What I found was him doing a thorough job. When I asked where he learnt to be so thorough, the reply was: “By watching you angry-vacuum.” I do it a lot, apparently.
So even though I’m not my son’s cruise director and lockdown has been more Coronacoaster than luxury cruise liner, my passenger is feeling happier and more secure than he was back when he sounded the alarm.
Seeing my kid more secure and thriving in this upside-down world, has cracked my heart open and filled it with gratitude.
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