In an age when you can make instant online friends who you may never meet face to face, it’s nice to know you can still find a trusted pal who becomes your role model
He may yelp at me for this column, or perhaps he’ll fluff his feathers a little bit. Either way, the brief says: write about your role model, so that’s what I’ll do.
In our house, he’s called Face, which is a reference to his terrible autocorrect technique. To the real world, he’s known as Dave.
Our friendship began in the late-night ether of the Internet and somehow, thanks to time, aeroplanes, WhatsApp, and bad directions, ended up with us having a lexicon of our own, and a friendship that’s sewn into the fabric of my life.
When we first met in the darkness of Twitter Direct Messages, I could not have imagined he’d end up directly in my line of sight as I got married. My husband in front of me, and Dave to my right.
This friendship, however, should have started far sooner. In fact, it may have, in the late-night ether of another place, and another time, but we were ships in the night, and boots on a rooftop. I often wonder if we had met then, would we still know each other now? But that’s the stuff of alternate dimensions. We live in this one, and I’m glad he’s in ours.
I’ve spent years trying to explain to my daughter why People We Meet On The Internet) shouldn’t be trusted at face value, whilst simultaneously raising her in a life populated by People We Meet On The Internet. It’s a funny paradox, and I’ve realised, despite the warnings and woes, that there are Good People We Meet On The Internet. Sometimes, it’s luck that leads you to them.
But if you look at the history of Dave in our lives, darted across online platforms, terrible typos, emails, and more, you’ll notice that it wasn’t just the luck of the draw. There is a shared history that goes back from before we met, there’s always a reference to our lexicon, and never a missed opportunity for a pun. In the strange spaces of hasty hashtags and online outrage, there’s always a peace and friendship underneath the noise.
Why is he my role model? Well, he’s not mine alone. Instead, he’s shone a summer-infused light along his own way in life. Even when things have been terrifying, he’s not let up on trying. His role model status for my daughter and I isn’t only seated in our friendship – it’s well-cushioned by his history too.
Stories that may make you shudder, are the ones where I’ve found his humanity soothing. A history that he’s unashamed to share with the world, is where I find a friend. He’s taken the worst moments of his life and turned them into experiences that save and soothe people he may never know up close.
A while ago, he made a flurry of life choices that saw him relocating overseas. I felt bereft for a bit, but then remembered it’s just geography, and we’re used to a sea of postal codes between us. Nowadays, there’s an ocean, but geography has put no distance between us.
Even though he was tumbling through changes, he’s never without a moment for me. Tap that WhatsApp voice note function and we’re quickly back to chatting like I saw him yesterday for tea.
With Dave, there’s never a moment that’s inconvenient. There’s never a situation too rough to feel the way through. There’s never a time where my daughter can’t quickly type a message and be reminded that she has a friend. He wholly takes life on and tumbles with it, as it throws itself back at him.
When things get hard, he works harder. When the call of change summons him closer, Dave answers. He’ll ask the tough questions, and then take the answers as they lay bare truth. Dave is never scared of the truth, even when it feels bigger than the Burj Khalifa.
And that, dear reader, is how you make a role model.
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