With only a year(ish) left of school, I’m feeling, well, firstly a little daunted. Often I feel like I’m surrounded by a throng of people who either know what they want to do, or are rich enough to bum around and still not end up doing something they hate. I may not want to study immediately, but I don’t want to end up in middle management or marketing for some little-known fish finder manufacturer.
Contrary to my best intentions, my work ethic seems to be slipping, but I’m trying my best to reign myself in. I think as you gets older and meet people outside of school, you become impatient for the end of the familiar routine and the petty narrow-mindedness of it all. All the while dreading the knowledge that as you leave the claustrophobic confines of a school, you’ll drift apart from those who were once a part of everyday life, and become more of an island.
This initial loneliness will not leave time for introspection, but rather become crammed with the modern day equivalent of the struggle for survival. Earning my keep, working odd jobs in strange cities, saving every spare note for a ticket to another marvellously unfamiliar place. Making sure my half of the bedsit is tidy, sitting on smelly busses, but at the same time hopefully seeing some beautiful sights, living some strange stories, and meeting new friends.
I see my life after school unfolding in no particular order and I’m sure I’m not the only one. The word “career” conjures terrifying images of working a single job for many years, honing a blunt object into something sharp and yet no less boring, like a breadknife.
An intricate wooden handle and a tale to tell is all I want. I don’t want to saw through the crusts of suburbia, the mundane hum of the school-university-career-family-retirement life. Surely life could be so much more enthralling, with cobbled side streets to explore and shady dirt roads leading to cool, undiscovered clearings. There’s so much to see and so much to write about.
Which is why when I heard from a highly talented friend that he was thinking of becoming a tax consultant instead of following on with his writing, I was horrified. I asked him when he would start writing again, and he replied that he would when he retired early. I see two problems with this plan.
First off, what happens if he doesn’t get into his course, because his marks are too low, or his parents lose their jobs and can no longer afford the fees? Or what happens if he dies before he retires and never sees his dreams of publication come true?
Perhaps we see life very differently. What matters most to me is that in the short few years that I’m alive, I get to see something of the world and learn something of myself and those around me. For him, it’s security and being able to provide for a family that motivates him to pursue his current plan.
He says he wants to give his kids anything they could ask for. To me, growing up the way I did, I didn’t have the privilege to get whatever I wanted. In terms of education, where I stayed and what I ate for supper every night, I had a limited set of choices. But I never felt lacking. I had my books, my imagination and my mother’s full attention when she got home from work, as well as a father who was and is still a big part of my life. As a child I didn’t need much else.
So what do I want to do after school? I want to save enough money to go and work on an organic farm somewhere in Europe. Recently I heard about WWOOF, a network of homesteads, organic farms and the like which allows you to work on a farm and get free board and lodging. It is active all over the world and the membership fee is next to nothing. I can use my free time to explore the country and focus on activities that make me happy.
I’m quite excited for these next couple of years, what they’ll bring, what I’ll learn. What am I doing after that? I don’t know. I don’t think anyone does really.
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