When people talk about time travel, they mostly want to go back to do something to change the course of history.
Sometimes people want to be part of something iconic, like Woodstock, or the first Burning Man, or angry Fleetwood Mac performing The Chain in 1982.
Me? I just want to do some gentle time tourism.
I want to go back to 1985, to Muizenburg for a beach day.
I want to swim in the sea, listen to some Madonna and Simple Minds, have a cup of Nescafé Classic (the 80s gold standard of coffee) and, most importantly, watch people not be on their phones.
No phones. No urgent messages. No pings, bleeps, blips, chirps or rings.
No notifications lighting up our home screens. No message headlines breaking through the lock screen.
N
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That’s all I want. My friend suggested that this holiday, I give myself at least three days where I wake up and don’t have any plans.
My response? Utter panic. No plans? Not one thing in my diary? How would that work?
How would I have a good day if I didn’t know what kind of day I was planning to have?
What if nothing happened? What if I stayed in bed all day and ate Nando’s chicken wings while watching Below Deck?
“Exactly,” said my friend.
“Huh?” said I.
“Let what you want come from inside you,” she said, “rather than have it dictated by a series of alerts on your phone.”
Imagine. No more “15 minutes till beach day” style instructions. Terrifying.
I have been mulling this over for a few weeks. And I am realising that the reason I can’t switch off or log out on holiday is not that I am so important that my clients couldn’t possibly survive without me. (I am in HR for goodness’ sake, I am not a heart surgeon.)
It’s because I am scared. I am frightened that without the busy connection and responsiveness, I won’t be relevant and I won’t matter.
I am terrified of what might happen when I stop. What am I if I am not in action, and what action is there without my phone?
This isn’t cool. So this festive season, I am going to do some time tourism of my own.
This is what I plan to do:
- Put an out of office message on email that doesn’t invite anyone to send a WhatsApp if it’s urgent.
- Sign out of Slack and Teams.
- Put Slack, Teams, and Outlook into a folder and put the folder onto the second page of my phone.
- Turn off notifications on all email apps.
- Schedule three Do Nothing days. (Yes. I see the irony of having to schedule a day of rest. I gotta start somewhere, friends!)
- Put an app on my phone that limits social media time.
- Change my WhatsApp status to “On holiday. Whatever it is, January Sarah will handle it!”
There is a number 8 as well, but I am not sure I can commit.
I want to leave my phone at home and go for a walk in the forest. I know. It’s crazy. But I think I can do it.
I might even do some time tourism.
Get my best friend, some factor 50, pack some instant coffee in a thermos and a printed book and head to Muizenburg for a morning.