Do you talk to your dogs? Do your dogs talk to you? Face it, you’ve been #dogowned. And then next thing you know, they’re going to be tweeting for treats.
Since we added dogs to our family, I’ve proudly become one of those people who talk to them. It’s become such a part of my work-from-home life that, nowadays, they talk back. No, I don’t mean like that – they communicate in tweets.
If you’ve ever been #dogowned you’ll know that, when you talk to your dogs, or offer them a treat, their facial expressions tell a thousand stories. Not so much a dialogue, as a dogologue.
Taking these dogologues to Twitter has served two purposes for me. Firstly, it’s enabled me to capture their life with us. This is important, because our hounds only spend a short time with us on this planet and I’d like a keepsake of their lives.
Secondly, despite many human and canine protestations, I am not keen to give my dogs their own social media accounts. I follow enough Animals Of Instagram accounts to know that it seems like too much work. I do enough for these two canines as is. Being their social media manager would tip me right over the edge.
Our dogs, Jake and Zoey, are deep thinkers. Okay, that’s a lie. Jake is the deep thinker, while Zoey is more of a Throw-Yourself-At-The-World-And-See-What-Bounces-Back type.
While Jake is a large and almost buffoonish in movement, he is known for adopting a thinking stance when you talk to him. Zoey, on the other hand, treats everything in the world as her enemy until it gives her a belly rub.
Be thee not forthcoming with a belly rub when she requires it, and you will become Prime Enemy Number One. Unless, of course, you are a bird, suspicious piece of foliage, or night-time gecko:
Me, at 1am, 2am and 4am: Dogs, those are four geckos that are calmly making their way home.
Dogs: NOPE. FOUR HORSEMEN OF THE APOCALYPSE.— Cath (@cathjenkin) October 28, 2016
Jake and Zoey like to keep abreast of current affairs, both at home and abroad:
Me: Dogs, our president took a nap during a budget speech.
Dogs: GEEZ. EVEN WE KNOW IT’S RUDE TO NAP WHEN IMPORTANT STUFF IS HAPPENING.— Cath (@cathjenkin) October 27, 2016
Me: Dogs, they’ve elected a new US president.
Dogs: NOBODY TOLD US WE WERE GETTING A NEW JOB. WHEN DO WE MOVE?
Me: Er, this is awkward— Cath (@cathjenkin) November 12, 2016
They regularly reconsider their life options when it comes to who they’ve chosen to live with:
Me: Dogs, my mother in law has sent gorgeous roast dinner things for you.
Dogs: THAT’S NICE. MOVING TO HER HOUSE. BYE. IT’S BEEN REAL.— Cath (@cathjenkin) October 20, 2016
They also, regularly contribute to my career and work. Just not in the way they’d always prefer:
Me: Dogs, I have a lot of writing to do today.
Dogs: ARE YOU WRITING ABOUT US?
Me: No, about other things.
Dogs: WE’RE HIRING A NEW HUMAN.— Cath (@cathjenkin) October 10, 2016
And, of course, they’ve got very specific feelings about our weird weather situations in 2016:
Dogs: WE ARE FEROCIOUS BEASTS. HEAR US ROAR!
*thunderstorm starts*
Dogs: OMG WE ARE ALL GOING TO DIE. PANIC. HIDE ON THE HUMAN.
— Cath (@cathjenkin) February 18, 2016
I like to think their occasional online outbursts are something they’d approve of. While capturing little scenes from their life with us, I know it’s creating an online moment we can look back on with laughter.
Oh, and in case you wondered, they speak only in CAPS, because apparently, humans wouldn’t listen otherwise. If you’ve ever had your dog shoot you a disappointed look, you’ll know why I’m telling you this.
In a world that seems a little too serious most days, it’s good to get a little dogologue perspective.
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