When you hear the words “Wedding Speech” what comes to mind? Funny? Truthful? Embarrassing, maybe? Now add “Writing a” to the front. What comes to mind now? Hard? Now let’s turn it into “Writing a Wedding Speech for your Mother”, and here is where it gets VERY interesting and VERY difficult.
My Mom got remarried a few weeks ago to her boyfriend Alex, who had been living with us for a while. Since I am Mom’s first born son, it was kind of obvious that I would have a part in the wedding.
My brother and I watched the planning of the wedding, waiting for our roles to be determined. Mom and Alex decided on a non-religious wedding, and that my brother Noah and I would help in the ceremony.
Then Mom asked me if I could do a speech for the wedding. I’m a drama enthusiast, so at face value it seemed easy. I accepted. She told me I would have a helper, a family friend named Brendan. The speech felt easy. Harmless, even.
Brendan gave me a rule. The speech could be no longer than three minutes, the amount of time I could expect to hold people’s attention. The added pressure came when I realised I didn’t know what to write. The harmless speech was starting to confuse and even scare me.
I have a simple work tactic when I don’t know what to do. I procrastinate.
I do everything I can to push the task away, which only pulls the deadline closer. Facing the speech that daunted me, I tried putting it off. And succeeded.
Soon Mom, Noah and I moved to a lovely place in Noordhoek, where the wedding would be held. I was faced with a choice. Write the speech in the final week, or procrastinate some more. I took option two. Naturally.
I walked on the beach, lit a fire in the fireplace, chilled with my cousins, lost my pencil, lost my paper, played Munchkin, argued, slept and watched TV.
Finally I talked with Mom. “I just don’t know what to write,” I confessed. “Max, you’re fifteen,” she sighed, “write from the heart.”
I sat down, and thought about Alex – how he was at home, and the void his not being with us in Noordhoek had left. Something must have clicked, because I finally started writing.
My final product was terrible in my eyes, but in Mom’s and Brendan’s, fantastic. (This is probably due to the fact that I’m more into theatrics and don’t know anything about wedding speeches.)
On the day of the wedding everyone was incredibly excited (‘cuz it’s a wedding!) including me. This was the day I would give my first planned wedding speech (I improvised one once, but that’s another story).
The ceremony began. I walked with my mother down the aisle. Me wearing a suit and lilac tie, Mom wearing a beautiful dress. The ceremony was given, custom vows were said, two people were joined in marriage. The usual wedding stuff After a shower of confetti and the photo shoot, we moved on to reception and the dreaded speeches.
“When I first met Alex,” I began, clutching the microphone “I noticed two things. That he was very tall and very loving.” Cue the laughter.
After that the speech was easy. I even sang a little. I ended with a toast “To Mom and Alex. May their marriage be a happy one.”
I moved back to my table surrounded by laughter. For the rest of the wedding, I couldn’t get the smile off my face.
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