I like order and I love routine. Give me a to-do list and a reliable alarm clock, and I will feel safe in the world. But life doesn’t always work to lists or diary dates, so how does a routine fiend like me cope when it all goes wonky?
It’s a lot easier to run by schedule and routine when you have a toddler in the house. They thrive on routine. When my kid was a little mite, it was a lot easier to schedule everything, right down to bath time and bedtime. This made it easier on me too. I always knew that unless something untoward occurred, she’d be snoozing up a storm by 8pm and I’d be well into my work.
But an expanded family changed that, and now I am not always at my desk post-bedtime. It took me a long time to adjust to having someone else around who might want to spend time with me. But I’m lucky in a big way too. You see, he knows that when I schedule to work, or do something important, it’s a priority. So I don’t have to worry that he thinks I’m neglectful or avoiding him. He understands that, some nights, I am married to my to-do list.
Just as my kid’s daily to-do list has grown to include homework, school projects and sports, so has mine. Working as a freelancer from home, I don’t keep usual working hours and am generally juggling three projects at the same time. It’s not always possible to stick to my schedule, because something could come up. An urgent deadline, a surprise homework project, or an event. I’ve got it taped now. If something comes along to upset my schedule or our evening routines, I shift things around in my head, and then do it on my calendar app.
Having a schedule-driven life can be taxing on my nerves, because I am prone to having a freak out when something interrupts the routine. I’ve learnt to over-allocate time to tasks. I schedule in time, every day, to do school lunches, dinners and general domestic tasks, but always make sure to over-allocate, so I don’t feel like I’m low on minutes, at any point.
No matter what the task may be, I always allocate an hour, even if it’s a five-minute or 50-minute task. I’ll end up winning on the time scales somehow during the day. I’m always leaning on the possibility of chaos. If it doesn’t happen, I win. If it does, I’m still okay. This soothes my nerves in a big way.
Nothing has taught me more quickly about how to handle schedule upheavals, than having to rearrange our lives around loadshedding. It’s a reality we all have to deal with, and it’s not always possible to call for takeaways when the lights go off over dinnertime.
I can almost count it as a definite in the diary, that loadshedding will hit when I’m meant to be creating an evening meal for my troops. I’ve stuck a daily note in my diary, to check on the status and schedule at 2pm, which gives me enough time to plan. There are some days where this isn’t possible, and that’s when I give thanks for the invention of pizza delivery.
But emergencies don’t keep to schedules. That’s why this control fiend has a nifty trick for managing them. It’s called “close the calendar and wing it”.
A work emergency can hit or I could suddenly be called away to deal with an urgent matter. I’ve taught myself to grit my teeth and let it happen. Sometimes, it’s fun to ditch the diary and head off to handle something other than my to-do list. Occasionally, I may even invoke this option just to keep life fresh and interesting. But that’s a story for another day. Right now, my calendar app just pinged me to say: “Tea time”.
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