When our son came along I was determined not to let our lives change. I laugh now at my wishful thinking.
Of course our lives changed, in oh so many ways, but no matter how much I was willing to compromise on sleep, wearing clean clothes in public, or showering in general, I was clear about one thing: we would not stop travelling.
I have a chronic case of restlessness, and can’t stay in one place for too long. It’s like I have locational ADHD. The year before my son was born I travelled to 11 countries, and so I was slightly terrified that becoming a mother would mean I’d have to stay put.
The baby was due in November and I hatched a plan to come home for Christmas. We were living in Istanbul at the time, so it meant an overnight flight. Would we be fit enough to travel so soon after the birth? Would we get his passport in time?
Unthwarted, we booked our tickets to Cape Town and left the rest up to fate. And so it was that we found ourselves flying long haul with a five-and-a-bit-week-old baby.
It was the easiest thing in the world! If you ever wonder whether flying with a tiny baby is a good idea, the answer is yes, it is. They sleep, and eat, then sleep some more. People said ‘wow, you’re brave’, but I didn’t feel brave, I felt free, and I began to suspect that I really could pull this whole travel-with-kids-thing off.
I started travelling alone with my son when he was four months old. I visited my grandmother in Holland, Mom and friends in the UK, short flights from Istanbul that were manageable.
Yes, logistics were slightly more challenging, suitcases a bit heavier, nappy bags jam-packed for every eventuality, but with a little forward thinking it was all very doable, even on my own. By the time he was two, my son had been to eight countries and was a gold member on Turkish Airlines.
However, travelling with kids is definitely not easy. It’s challenging, requires immense planning and the patience of a saint. The threat of disintegration looms large, and there is very little real relaxation to be had.
I’ve been through most nightmare travel scenarios: projectile vomiting, humongous nappies, long delays, pacing the aisles with a bored child, lost luggage.
When I flew solo with both my kids to Greece last year, my two year old took a disliking to the tray of chicken, mash and gravy in front of him, and kicked the tray table. I watched in horror as the entire tray of food did a graceful arch, and splattered all over the seat in front of us. That poor lady picked mash out of her hair for the whole flight, I’m sure.
Going back to a place you have been to without kids is an eye opener too, and you realise just how much your life has changed. My husband and I did a driving trip through Italy in 2008. We had nothing planned, no hotels booked, we just rented a car and started driving.
We stopped when we wanted to, had long lazy lunches in Tuscan villages, drove the exhilarating Amalfi Coast with the wind in our hair and not a care in the world. Two years later we were back in Italy scouting wedding venues, our one year old son in tow.
We sat at the same café in Lucca, where in 2008 we could drink endless coffees, lazily read the paper, and soak up the atmosphere. In 2010, we downed our coffee in one gulp while we tag-teamed running after our toddler.
Romantic dinners were still possible, but dependant on whether the baby fell asleep in time. We used to take turns to march up and down the quiet back alleys in Rome, or deserted squares in Greece, rocking our son until he fell asleep. Then we’d return to the restaurant and place him in his stroller, feeling like rock stars.
I love travelling with my kids, despite the hard work and unknown variables. It’s worth it because I get to show my children the world. And they notice, they really do. They soak it up like sponges.
My best is when my five year old says, “Mama, I wonder what it was like to live in ancient Rome when they were building the Colosseum”, or when my almost three year old shouts, “Look! It’s the Acropolis!”
Because they have been there, they can reach beyond their own reality and grasp that there is a world out there with so much to discover. That is the gift I am giving them, and a few overstuffed nappy bags and the occasional meltdown is not going to stop me.
Here are my Top 6 travel tips:
1. Never leave home without an iPad.
2. Book a hotel for at least the first night. You can still be spontaneous, but it requires a little more planning.
3. Ditch the junk. You do not need extra bags of toys, books and baby paraphernalia. I have a strict one-suitcase rule when travelling alone with the boys. When my husband joins us I pack as much as I can because he carries the bags.
4. Be realistic in what you can manage. Traipsing round the Uffizi Gallery with a hungry toddler at nap-time is insane. Know your limits, push them a bit, but know when to call it a day.
5. Invest in a sling for your baby, or hiking backpack for your toddler. It gives you flexibility and means you aren’t limited to stroller-friendly environments.
6. You don’t have to jet off on expensive overseas holidays. Local is lekker, and the message is the same: there’s a whole world out there.
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