It’s not every day that a jolly fellow in red pops in to chat to Ruda … and for once, we’re not talking about exits, elections, and the every-which-way-but-our-way bounce of the ball against Italy and Wales.
Hear what the one and only Father Christmas has to say about Banting, the Good-and-Naughty List, the trouble with Elves, and the value of holding on to your values in changing times:
Ruda: Hello everyone! I’m very excited to tell you we have a very special guest in the studio today. He’s an icon of popular culture, celebrated in movies, music, literature… he’s a true legend! Loved by the young, and the young at heart. And for that reason, every year, he goes on a round the world tour to bring happiness to millions. I’m very delighted that he’s honouring us with his presents, lots, and lots of presents! So let me introduce the man who needs no introduction… What’s happened to him? Where has he gone? He was here a moment ago?!
Father Christmas: Hello? Hello? Donner! Blitzen! Prancer! Dancer! Dasher! Vixen! Comet! Cupid! Rudolph! You just tell that cop to hold on, I need a few minutes, I’m very busy. I am doing an interview with Ruda… Ruda Landman. You know, she’s very big in these parts. So you just tell him he has to wait his turn like everyone else, you know, there’s still a week to go. He can just hold on! You need to tell him to wait a little while. Thank you. Sorry about that, Ruda. You know, it happens every year! Come to Jo’burg, park the sleigh to dash off and do a delivery, and within seconds BAM, a Metrocop arrives!
R: To give you a ticket for double parking?
F: No, no, no, to ask for a present! To ask for a present. They always want to have a present. Oh, I suppose I am Father Christmas!
R: Must be tough! You know, there’s one thing I’ve always wanted to ask you…
F: For a present? Well, let me have a look. Let me just check here. Oh! It won’t be a second. Hmmm. Hattingh, Hofmeyr, Jabulani, Kunene, Labuschange, Landman. Ah, impressive! You’ve been a very good girl this year, you’ll get a lovely present.
R: Thank you so much, I do try. But what I was actually going to ask… the iPad, the app, the phone to the reindeer… I’m sure you have a Twitter handle? Technology seems to have changed the way you work, completely?
F: Well, you know, we love technology and we love change. You can’t keep on using the same tools to do the same job. I try and keep up with the pace of the world we live in! You have to carry on changing things, in fact, let me tell you a little secret: I’m thinking of letting the reindeergo! [phone vibrates] Oh, sorry, I must take this. Hello? Donner, Blitzen, Dancer, Prancer, Dacha Cupid, Comet, Rudolph? Haha, no, I was only joking! Hahaha, no, don’t worry about a thing. Just a few more minutes, just tell them a few more minutes. I’ll be there now! Hahaha!
R: But in the midst of all this change, you have remained the figure we know and love. A figure of joy, a figure of happiness, a figure of abundance!
F: Could you stop going on about my figure please? I tried to get in shape. I’ve tried banting. I couldn’t do it! You see, I… You know what I’m getting Tim Noakes for Christmas? A pizza! He deserves it, hahaha!
R: But you’ve been doing this job for… it’s actually much more than a job?
F: It’s a calling. It’s a calling. There’s always somebody calling! Sorry, I’ll just switch that off. Always, it’s a calling. People think Christmas just happens once a year, when in actual fact it’s a job that carries on for the whole year round. It’s not as easy as you think!
R: That was the other thing I wanted to ask. What keeps you going, year after year after year?
F: I’d say the Elves. They’re tireless. They never stop working! They’re always doing something, you see. Fulfilling promises, taking the naughty or nice list, they’re tinkering with something or taping something or tying pretty bows to presents, so the Elves, Ruda. The Elves.
R: That’s so good to know. And they never complain?
F: Oh they complain all the time, Ruda. All the time! They never stop complaining, in fact, but the thing is I can’t understand a word they’re saying, hahaha.
R: So you don’t speak Elvish?
F: I speak a little Elvish… [sings] It’s a one for the money, two for the show, three get ready, now for there we go now don’t you, step on my blue suede shoes. Hahaha!
R: That’s very Elvish…
F: It is indeed.
R: Now tell me, apart from the technology… what is the one thing that’s changed most in your work?
F: Outsourcing! You see, you can’t sustain a global enterprise anymore on a single dedicated delivery date! So we’ve had to take on excess supply chain delivery systems. For instance, we’ve just landed a HUGE contract with the South African Postal Service. Ooooh! They’ve got such a backlog!
R: I’m so glad to hear that. Maybe I’ll get my mail from last year, now!
F: Hahahaha! I doubt it, Ruda! Rather use WhatsApp – far better!
R; You have kept up with the times. But what’s the one thing you would not change? What keeps you grounded?
F: Values, Ruda. Values are very important. People live in a very cynical world. In fact, some people say they no longer believe in ME! They say ME, Father Christmas, that I don’t exist!
R: I know, that’s crazy!
F: You think it’s crazy? It’s so crazy, that I’m here. It’s real! In fact, I was having a chat to the Easter Bunny the other day, and we were saying exactly this. People need to believe, believe in all the good things that keep us grounded. Good things to make us happy, things like friendship. Love. Hope. Peace. The kindness of strangers! But in world that keeps on turning, we need to believe in the good things. The good things that keep us anchored. The good things that keep us connected! The good things that keep us believing!
R: Absolutely, I so agree…
F: Absolutely. And now, if you’d excuse me, Ruda, I’ve got this big bag of presents to deliver. So Ruda, I think I have one for you, in fact!
R: Oh, that’s wonderful. Thank you!
F: Ah! There you go. I have to go now. Goodbye, Ruda! Have a happy Christmas! Ho ho ho! Merry Christmas everyone! And remember to be safe and don’t do anything I wouldn’t do! And look out for reindeer! Keep well, goodbye! Ho, ho, ho!
R: Goodbye Father Christmas, and don’t fire the reindeer just yet! Thank you for being with us, enjoy the Festive Season and remember a Change is as good as a Holiday! Until next time.
* This interview was originally published in November 2014.
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