Imagine if parenting could be played like a video game. What would you need to do to win it? Alan Knott-Craig shares what he’s learned about taking it to the next level.

Chapter 1 — No kids — 0 to 30 years.

I would consider the years until I had my first child to be unconscious, selfish and fun! Especially from 25 to 30 years old. Married at 25, my wife and I both earned a decent salary, lived in a flat in Sandton, travelled at the drop of a hat, ate out every night and generally lived a foot-loose and fancy-free life. We worked hard and played hard and looking back those years were the foundation on which my marriage and career were built.

Chapter 2 — Juliet — 31 to 33 years.

Then we had our first child, Juliet. Welcome to the real world. Responsibility, sleepless nights, financial commitments, all the dreaded parts of life we’d only heard about (and scoffed at) were now a part of our everyday existence.

The stress and love brought on by a child combine to make you prone to anxiety attacks, sleep deprivation and mood swings… That said, it opened an entirely new world, making us much more aware of the world, and much more appreciative of autonomy (and sleep.) For me, the biggest impact was that I started thinking more about the future and what kind of world I’d be leaving for my kids.

In short, it stopped being all about me, and started being about other people.

Chapter 3 — Tara — 34 to 36 years.

Shortly after having our first daughter we decided to move to Stellenbosch, mostly to be closer to my wife’s parents, but also because we felt it was a healthy environment to raise kids. So whilst it felt I was putting my business ambitions on the backburner, our child’s future came first.

It wasn’t long before I realised it was the best decision I ever made. Of course, Stellenbosch is a beautiful town, but the life-changer for me was an environment that forced/inspired me to believe in myself and follow my dreams. Shortly after the launch of my grand venture, World of Avatar, we conceived our second child, Tara.

She was a part of the tumultuous years that followed, bringing many great memories and challenges, and a dawning realisation that the road to greatness requires partners, risk, and a great deal of luck.

Chapter 4 — Sarah — 36 onwards.

On 19 October 2012 I packed a box at 5:30 am and left my office. My “dream” had ended badly and I was parting ways with my partners, my company and my staff.

I got home only to find my wife standing in the bathroom with a sheepish smile. “I’m pregnant.”

Sarah is our third daughter, and she came at a time when I was dealing with my biggest setback. I was wounded emotionally, psychologically and financially, and the next year was all about reflection, recovery and rebooting.

A calm, smiley little girl, Sarah brought me perspective and helped me remember what’s important. Family and friends. The rest is just noise. Also, looking at her face I can’t help but think life is long. There is plenty of time to recover, the greatest risk a person can take is to not take any risks.

Conclusion.

Its early days still, but the privilege of having daughters has taught me a couple lessons:

1. Juliet – Be more conscious and less selfish. Put your family first and the rest will take care of itself.
2. Tara – If you have a dream, follow it. That means take risk.
3. Sarah – Unpleasant as they can be, setbacks are the greatest teachers. The trick is to keep learning whilst keeping an eye on the big picture.