In a recent study, 96% of people in the UK admitted to living on autopilot. Is this you? And what can you do to move from cruise control to active driver mode?
Wake up. Wash your face. Brush your teeth. Get dressed. Make breakfast. Go to work. Repeat. Habits and routines form a significant part of everyday life – and that’s helpful. But it can also hamper your ability to change and take active charge of what’s happening.
That first drink of the evening, for example, may automatically lead to smoking or over-eating. Driving home on autopilot can be relaxing, but it can also increase your risk of having an accident – not to mention the likelihood that you’ll forget to pick up the milk and bread en route.
Embarking on real change requires us to notice what we do and why we do it – and that starts with unpacking and understanding the human tendency to automate.
Let’s be honest: autopilot is a lifesaver. It allows us to get ready in a rush, and it’s the reason we can cook dinner or fold the laundry while planning the family holiday or supervising homework. And it’s precisely because autopilot is so effective at freeing up mental ‘computing’ space, that our brains search for patterns and shortcuts in almost everything we do.
The danger is that a continual state of autopilot can turn your life into a series of habits that disconnect you from your purpose and prevent you from achieving personal goals. One of the sure signs that you’re operating on autopilot is the sensation of having the days or weeks pass by in a blur. Many of us are manically busy during the day and return home uninspired and flattened, ready to sink into the comfort of soothing rituals that allow our minds to switch off. The problem is, we may think we’re relaxing by watching TV, but if we’re simultaneously checking our messages and eating dinner, chances are it’s having the opposite effect and will leave us feeling unfulfilled and restless.
According to neuroscientists, this is because a wandering mind is bad for happiness. Simply put, we are happiest and most fulfilled when we are thinking about what we do. Living on autopilot allows our minds to wander untethered, resulting in a lack of alignment between our thoughts and actions. It also lulls us into a state of inertia that, unchecked, can rob us of the agency to achieve our goals or change habits that don’t serve us.
So, how do we break the habit?
The trick, according to the experts, is to switch modes consciously – from automatic to manual. And, as many motoring enthusiasts will tell you, driving in manual requires more patience and focus but makes for a more engaged and rewarding ride.
Breaking the habitual-life habit requires a very deliberate, intentional audit of your routines, and deciding how many of them serve you and your family. Are your loved ones begging for attention as you murmur, “I’m listening” while scrolling through social media? Is your inability to move from the sofa to the gym affecting your health? When last did you consciously devote time to a life goal?
Acknowledging that your addiction to Candy Crush is robbing you of time that could be put to better use is a start – but it won’t result in change unless you can replace your current experience with a vision of your best life; one in which your hopes, dreams and actions are aligned. Once you have a goal worth pursuing, then you can align your actions with it and improve your happiness quota.
The good news is: you don’t have to make particularly ambitious goals to feel happier and more fulfilled. Research shows that it doesn’t make any difference what the activity is, just so long as you are fully absorbed and “in the moment” while doing it. For example, you can be happier mindfully tending to your pot plants, than dining distractedly at a smart restaurant.
Experts suggest starting with small routine tasks and making a concerted effort to switch to mindfulness. Notice what you’re doing, and the effect it’s having on both you and those around you. In the beginning it will be fleeting, as your lazy brain tries to shake off this unwelcome restraint. But with practice it can help us to regain emotional control, make the most of every moment and improve our overall sense of wellbeing. Other reported spinoffs of practising a more mindful approach to life include better sleep, clearer focus, improved mood and manageable stress levels – all worthy life goals in their own right.
So tomorrow morning when your alarm goes off, wake up in the proper sense of the word. Take notice and heed what you’re doing. Commit to achieving just one thing that day and then plan things consciously and accordingly. It’s not about giving up on autopilot; it’s about knowing when to switch from default to design, and take firmer control of the wheel.
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