The joys, challenges, and rewards of parenting increase exponentially when you’re parenting twins, triplets, or more, explains Marion Smith of the SA Multiple Birth Association
Impending parenthood can feel daunting at the best of times. But when you’re a parent-to-be of twins, triplets, or more, you might need an extra helping hand. That’s where the SA Multiple Birth Association comes in. SAMBA is a non-profit organisation whose primary purpose is to ‘provide moral and practical support to parents or guardians of multiple births’.
Marion Smith, SAMBA national chair and mother of twins, tells us about the joys and challenges of managing multiples.
Do you remember the moment you found out you were expecting twins and how you felt?
I don’t think I will ever forget that moment. I went for my second scan and the doctor said to me, ‘Have a look on the screen, there are two heartbeats.’
I told her she was joking, as it had not been picked up previously or in the blood tests, but she wasn’t joking – there were definitely two. I ran to the bathroom and cried. I’m not sure if it was in shock or happiness
What should expectant moms know about carrying multiples?
Moms should know the dangers that come with carrying multiples. Luckily with modern medicine and excellent medical knowledge it is much easier to pick up on problems a lot earlier, like twin-to-twin transfusion syndrome.
Most multiple pregnancies don’t carry full term, so moms should have the nurseries ready a month or two earlier, the hospital bag should be ready earlier and they should prepare themselves for things like bed rest, especially if they are carrying triplets.
The chance of premature babies is a lot higher, meaning the babies could land up in neonatal care and that can be very taxing for a mom who wants to breastfeed.
What was some of the worst advice you received as an expectant mother of twins?
That you need to buy two of everything. You really don’t. So much goes to waste. I would suggest waiting until you have had the babies to see what bottles and dummies they like, for example.
You don’t need two of every outfit and toy, and in the first two or three months they can share the same cot.
What is the most rewarding aspect of raising multiples?
Watching the interaction between them. They are the best of friends and nobody can take that away from them. They definitely have a bond like nobody else. They learn from each other all the time and there is constant stimulation.
And what is the biggest misconception?
If there are twins in the family you will have twins. Twins actually come about from women only, the men have nothing to do with it or the fact that there are twins in the family.
Women over 35 have a higher chance of having twins as do women who have had multiple pregnancies.
Tell me some of the strangest tips you picked up over the years that turned out to be lifesavers?
When you are potty training twins, let them do it together because they like to copy each other, so it’s a lot quicker and easier. Let them sleep in the same room – they calm each other because they were in the womb together, so the sound of the sibling is soothing.
Don’t call them ‘the twins’. They have their own identities, so call them by their names. When they are babies feed them at the same time. It’s a lot easier and it saves time – otherwise you’ll feel like all you do is feed and change nappies 24 hours a day. Finally, don’t be scared to ask for help.
We’ve all heard about the amazing connection between twins. Can you give me some examples of how you’ve noticed this with your boys?
My boys play rock-paper-scissors every time they need to decide who has to make the bed and so forth, and they decided this on their own. It is very cute to watch.
They also get quite stressed when they don’t know where the other one is – they always have to check up on each other.
At what point should expectant parents of multiples be getting in touch with SAMBA?
As soon as you find out you’re carrying multiples! I think that is when it is most scary and you need the support and knowledge of where to go and who to contact most.
For more, visit www.samultiplebirth.co.za.
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